


Then As It Was, Then Again It Will Be

by OpenPage



Category: 21 Jump Street (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Disability, Explicit Language, Fingerfucking, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 06:27:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 34,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpenPage/pseuds/OpenPage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom Hanson and Dennis Booker are thrown together on a case.  Tom is unhappy with the partnership but to his surprise, feelings  for Dennis begin to develop.  But then Tom’s life is turned upside down when he is attacked by the very men they are attempting to capture.  Can Dennis help his friend through the biggest challenge of his life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own 21 Jump Street or any the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. All characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

_**Lyrics from "Ten Years Gone" by Led Zeppelin**_

_“Did you ever really need somebody, and really need 'em bad_  
Did you ever really want somebody, the best love you ever had  
Do you ever remember me, baby, did it feel so good?  
'Cause it was just the first time, and you knew you would”  


**Chapter One**

“Hanson!  Booker!  My office, _NOW!_ " Fuller yelled across the bustling chapel.

Both officers raised a quizzical eyebrow.   It was unusual for Fuller to pair them as partners as it was no secret that they had a mutual dislike of each other.  Tom sighed as he hoisted himself out of his chair.  It was going to be a long few weeks if he had to team up with Booker.

After the officers had entered, Captain Fuller motioned for Hanson to close the door.  He then indicated that they should both take a seat.

“No doubt you’ve heard about the rapes at Huntsfield College,” he said, a frown creasing his brow.

“All the attacks have been on gay men, right?” Hanson answered.

“That is correct,” answered Fuller, his hand rubbing over his weary eyes.  He had been up all night thinking about the case and wondering if his decision to pair up Hanson and Booker was the right one.  He was fully aware of their aversion to one another and yet deep down he knew that they were the best officers for the job.  Although prepared for what Hanson’s reaction would be, he nevertheless stalled for a few moments before continuing.  “I’m sending you and Booker in as a couple.”

Hanson’s jaw dropped open as he glanced quickly at Booker before returning his full attention back to his superior officer.  “Noo, noo, noo,” he said, his head shaking back and forth.  “C’mon Coach, wouldn’t Harry be a better choice?  I mean look at the way he dresses, surely that alone—”

“ _Enough!_ ” yelled Fuller, slamming his hand down on his desk hard enough to knock off some papers.  “These are serious, violent crimes and I need two officers who are going to commit to finding out who is attacking these young men.  It is not a joke.  If we don’t stop these attacks someone is going to get killed.”

Hanson exhaled noisily.  The thought of teaming up with Booker and having to pretend not only to like him, but also to be in love with him, was nauseating.  However, Fuller was right, something needed to doing and if his Captain had that much faith in him that he could pull it off, then he would do the best he could.  He hesitated for just a moment before replying.  “Okay Captain, I’m in.”

Booker had remained quiet throughout.  As always, he gave very little away.  He had been a part of Jump Street for over six months but no one in the program could really say that they knew much about him.  He rarely went for drinks with the group, nor did he talk about his personal life.  They all assumed he was a player, a girl in every town kind of guy.  But nobody knew for sure.  Not that Tom cared.  The less he had to do with Booker the better.  Of course all of that was about to change with this assignment.  He and Booker were going to have to work and live, side by side until they solved the case.   He wondered if Booker felt the same apprehension that he did.  It was hard to tell, the newest officer to their team was a closed book.

Fuller turned his eyes to the silent, dark-haired officer.  “Booker?”

Dennis shrugged, his face giving nothing away.  “Sure Cap’n, whatever you think.”

Adam Fuller let out a relieved sigh and handed both officers a manila folder.  “The details are in here.  Hanson, you’re going in as Tom Harris.  Booker, you’ll be Dennis Bennett.  I’ve arranged off campus accommodation for you as most of the attacks have happened outside of the college.”  He paused for a moment before continuing.  “This is going to be a tough case and I understand your reluctance, given your feelings for each other.  But five men are in hospital having sustained horrific injuries.  I need you both to put your feelings aside and work together.  Is that understood?”

Standing up, he indicated that the meeting was now over.  “I expect you to check in daily.”

Tom and Dennis nodded.  As they walked out the door, Booker stole a glance at Hanson but Tom’s eyes remained firmly fixed in front of him.  It was almost as if Dennis was not there.

**

Harry and Judy wiped the tears from their eyes after hearing what Hanson had to say.  Penhall however, remained silent.

“You and Booker as _lovers?_ ” Judy spluttered for a third time.  “I have to say, you do make a very cute couple.”

Tom scowled, unable to see the funny side.  He turned to Harry.  “I still think you would have been a better choice.”

Laughing, Harry put both hands up and shook his head in denial.  “No, no, I agree with Jude, you and Booker are _perfect_ for each other.”

Hanson looked over at Penhall for help.  Doug’s eyes were devoid of any mirth and his face was set in a stern frown.  Judy punched Harry in the arm and indicated with her eyes at the sullen officer.  Ioki’s laughter trailed off as he stared at Penhall’s expression.

“What is it Doug?” Judy asked, putting a hand on his arm.

Doug looked away for a moment and then turned his eyes to his best friend.  “Tom, I don’t like this.  Booker’s a loose cannon and these attacks have been unbelievably violent.  I don’t trust him.  He could get you seriously hurt.”

Hanson gave his friend a reassuring smile.  “Don’t worry Doug, I know how to look after myself.  I may not have a lot of time for Booker personally, but he’s a good cop.  We’ll be fine.”

Penhall remained silent.  The uneasy feeling in his stomach just would not go away.  All he could hope was that Tom was right.

**

Booker sat silently at his desk watching his co-workers across the room.  As always, he was out of the loop.  He told himself he did not really mind, but deep down it hurt.  He knew he could be bull headed at times but he did not understand why the others kept him at a distance.  Maybe it was his fault.  He was unsure how the other officers would react if they knew about his private life.  Seeing Tom’s disgust at the thought of working with him only confirmed his suspicions.  When he had first worked with Hanson, he had hoped that they would form a friendship.  He had been instantly attracted to the pretty officer whose eyes peered out from beneath long, unruly bangs.  Of course, he knew that Tom was not gay, but he had hoped that they would be able to spend time together as friends.  But their first case together had been a disaster and since then Hanson had kept his distance.  Booker pretended that the dislike of each other was mutual but it was a lie.  He admired Tom not only for his looks but also as a cop and he envied Penhall’s relationship with the young officer.  It had been easy though, to pretend otherwise.  Booker was tough and he hid his emotions well.  That was, until now.  This new case was about to change everything.  Not only would he and Tom be working together but they would also be co-habiting together.  Butterflies fluttered in Dennis’ stomach.  Even though to the outside world they would be a couple, he knew he would have to rein in his feelings when they were alone.  The assignment was too important and the last thing he wanted to do was screw it up.  But it was going to be difficult.  There would be touches and caresses, all the things Dennis had dreamed of doing with Tom.  He only hoped that Hanson would think he was just playing the part and not read anymore into it.

Swinging his chair around, he stood up from his desk.  Grabbing the yellow folder, he walked over to where Hanson was still sitting with Penhall, Ioki and Hoffs.  “Ready to check out this apartment?” Booker asked, keeping his voice devoid of any emotion.

Hanson let out a barely audible moan.  “Sure, let’s go.”

As they left the chapel, Doug watched on.  His frown deepened and he felt the uneasy sensation in his gut growing.  He had a bad feeling about this case that he just could not shake.  But he trusted Adam Fuller and knew his Captain must have felt that Hanson and Booker were the best men for the job.  Resigned to the fact that his partner was now working with Booker, he let out a loud sigh and returned to his duties.  



	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: As they left the chapel, Doug watched on.  His frown deepened and he felt the uneasy sensation in his gut growing.  He had a bad feeling about this case that he just could not shake.  But he trusted Adam Fuller and knew his Captain must have felt that Hanson and Booker were the best men for the job.  Resigned to the fact that his partner was now working with Booker, he let out a loud sigh and returned to his duties._

**Chapter Two**

Tom and Dennis drove to their new abode in silence.  Dennis occasionally glanced at Hanson but received no acknowledgement in return.  Hanson pulled into the underground car park and parked his blue Mustang in lot twenty-six.  Getting out of the car, Hanson quickly made for the stairwell but Booker grabbed his arm and pulled him backwards.  Instinctively, Hanson jerked away.  He turned to his new partner in annoyance.  “ _What?_ ”

Booker had to muster all his strength not to punch Hanson square on the jaw.  He took a deep, calming breath then motioned for Tom to follow him.  He walked the few yards to the elevator and pushed the up arrow.  He did not speak until they were safely inside and riding up to the second floor.  “Look Hanson.  If you start flinching every time I touch you we’re never going to convince people we’re a couple.”  

Tom took Booker's words on board for a moment then nodded.  “Yeah, sorry.  I’m just a bit on edge.”

Booker gave a wry smile.  “Well, that makes two of us.  I just thought we could talk a little better in the elevator rather than risk being overheard on the stairs.”  The elevator slowly stopped and the doors pinged open.  Before alighting, Booker pushed his hand against the open door to keep it from closing.  He turned to Hanson and whispered in a low voice so that no passersby could overhear.  “I’m going to hold your hand, don’t freak out.”

Black eyes met brown and Tom nodded in agreement.  They exited the elevator with their hands grasped firmly in a lovers hold.  They walked down the corridor until they came to apartment twenty-six.  Hanson pulled out a key and unlocked the door.  Stepping inside, they closed the door behind them and released their hands.

Hanson cast his eyes around his new home.  It was small but modern.  The living and kitchen area were one room, both fully furnished in a tasteful, if somewhat flamboyant manner.  Two doors led off from the back wall.  Hanson walked over and opened the first, which was a bathroom.  Realizing that the other room must be the one and only bedroom he slowly opened that door.  A double bed and two chests of drawers were the only furniture.  A walk in robe led off to the right.  Tom felt his heart begin to race.  He was not sure he could do this.  He was not homophobic but that did not mean he felt comfortable sharing a bed with another man.  Hell, he and Penhall were the best of friends but they had never slept in the same bed.  Shaking his head slightly he tried to pull himself together.  All these irrational fears were making him crazy.  He had committed to this case and therefore he was going to do it to the best of his ability.  That was the type of cop he was.

Turning around he saw Booker staring at him.  He gave a wide, if somewhat forced grin in return.  “Hope you don’t snore Dennis.”

Feeling the tension ease, Booker smiled back.  “Not that I’ve been told,” he answered dryly.  Giving one last glance around the room Dennis headed for the door.  “Come on, we need to get our stuff and move in.  Class starts tomorrow.”

Hanson nodded in agreement.  As they left the apartment, a man and a woman stopped them in the hallway.  “Are the _two_ of you moving into number twenty-six?” the man asked rather abruptly.  He was smiling pleasantly but the smile did not reach his eyes.

Draping an arm casually around Tom’s shoulders, Dennis smiled back whilst extending his hand.  “Yep.  Dennis Bennett and this is my partner, Tom Harris.”  They all exchanged handshakes and the man introduced himself as Jake Wetherall.  The woman was his sister, Tammy Wetherall and they lived in apartment twenty-nine.  They explained that they both went to Huntsfield College.  Jake was a senior and Tammy was a sophomore.  Hanson and Booker chatted amicably for a few minutes and then excused themselves.  As the elevator door closed, Tom exhaled loudly.  

“Well wasn’t he _pleasant_ ,” he stated sarcastically.  “Did you see the look he gave us?”

Booker frowned slightly.  “Yeah, I think we need to keep an eye him.  He doesn’t exactly seem the type to want a gay couple living in his apartment building.”

Exiting into the car park, they walked the short distance to Tom’s car.   As they drove away, Booker turned to Hanson.  “Well this is it, once we get back we are officially undercover.  You sure you’re okay with it?”

This time Tom did not hesitate, he looked Booker straight in the eye.  “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

**

It only took an hour for both officers to pack a bag and they were back at the apartment by 5pm.  After throwing their belongings into the bedroom, they sat down in the living room.  Tom looked around nervously, wondering what to say but it was Dennis who finally broke the silence.  “Pizza?”

Tom smiled.  “And beer,” he added.  

Whilst Dennis phoned through their order, Tom went out to get the alcohol.  When he returned, he found Booker sprawled out on the couch watching a hockey game.  Hanson grabbed two beers and handed one to his partner.  Pushing Booker’s legs off the seat, he sat down.  He had just taken a mouthful of beer when Dennis dropped a bombshell.    “I think we should practice.”

Tom slowly put his beer bottle on the table and turned to Booker.  “Practice what?” he asked, all the while dreading what Booker was about to say.

Booker rolled his eyes, once again annoyed at Hanson’s reluctance.  “Being a couple.  We need to look natural and you still look like you’re going to run a mile every time a touch you.”

Tom knew it was true.  He was trying so hard to take this assignment in his stride but he knew he was failing dismally.  Maybe Booker was right.  If they “practiced” being a couple, it might come more naturally.  However, the sound of the outdoor intercom quickly interrupted his thoughts.  

Dennis stood up and buzzed the pizza delivery guy into the building.  A few moments later, there was a rap at the door and Dennis paid the young man from Claud’s Pizza.  Shutting the door, Booker turned to Hanson.  “Hungry?”

Hanson shook his head and took another long swig of beer.  His appetite had vanished once he heard Dennis’ _practice_ proposal.  Before he could lose his nerve, he turned to his partner.  “I think you’re right.”

Booker put down the piece of pizza he was about to bite into and raised an inquiring eyebrow.  “Right about what?” he asked, slowly putting the pizza box on the coffee table and staring down at Hanson.

Tom took in a deep breath.  “I think we should do as you said… and practice.  If we’re going to pull this off we need everyone to believe we’re a couple.”  He paused for a moment before continuing.  “So… how do you suggest we do that?”

Dennis’ heart began to race.  He had thrown the line out there more to see how Hanson would react.  Never in his wildest dreams had he expected Tom to agree.  Now that it was really going to happen, he felt nervous and unsure.  He was terrified of showing his true feelings to his partner and yet the idea of _practicing_ was not as silly as it sounded.  Pulling himself together, he looked at Tom with a deadpan expression so as not to scare him off.  “Let’s try me putting my arm around you.”

Hanson agreed, glad that it was something he was reasonably comfortable with.  After all, friends put their arms around each other all the time.  He and Penhall were forever giving each other hugs.  Standing up, he turned towards Dennis who casually threw his arm around Hanson’s shoulder.  Tom was surprised at how comfortable it felt and he turned and grinned awkwardly at Booker.  “That’s not so bad.  What’s next?”

Booker closed his eyes for half a moment and then gently spun Hanson around so that they were facing each other, his hands on Tom’s shoulders.  He slowly slid his hands downwards until they rested on his partner’s hips.  He heard Tom’s sharp intake of breath but was pleased that he had not flinched away.  He stayed several moments with his hands resting on Hanson’s slim waist and then he dropped them to his side and stepped away.  When he finally looked at his partners face, he could not help but smile. Hanson was blushing.

Embarrassed, Tom gave Dennis a friendly shove.  The tension was broken and Dennis began to laugh.  “Geez Hanson, I never would have picked you as being the shy type.”

Hanson grinned back, rubbing his hand over his lips as he always did when he was nervous or unsure.  “Now what?”

Spontaneously Booker pulled Hanson into an embrace.  Although surprised at the sudden contact Tom did not recoil.  He put his arms around his partner and gave him a hug.  Laughing, Dennis patted him on the back.  “That almost felt like you meant it partner.”

Hanson grinned.  “I almost did,” he replied teasingly.  Both men now felt more relaxed and Tom flopped back down onto the couch.  “So, do you think we can fool them?”

Dennis did not answer.  He turned away to the kitchen and grabbed another couple of beers.  Sitting down next to Tom, he faced his fellow officer.  “Tommy, I think we need to go beyond a few hugs to convince our rapist that we’re the real deal.”

Hanson stared back at Dennis.  His nervousness returned and he took a large gulp of his beer.  “Meaning what exactly?”

Dennis knew there was no way to sugar coat his response.  This was what they had signed up for and they had to play the part realistically or risk blowing their cover.  He actually felt sorry for Hanson.  He knew the officer was struggling with their assignment but he admired the fact that he was determined to battle through it.  It was one of the things he liked most about Tom.  He felt awful that he was making the other man so uncomfortable but Fuller expected them to do it right, therefore, sacrifices had to be made.

“I think we’re going to have to be seen kissing,” Booker replied hurriedly, not daring to look at the other man’s face.  

“Oh,” Tom answered quietly, his fingers furiously rubbing at his top lip.  The silence that followed was deafening and just as Dennis was about to tell Hanson to forget it, Tom continued with a shrug.  “Yeah well, that kinda makes sense.”

Surprised, Booker turned to his partner and for the first time Tom saw a glimmer of tenderness in his dark eyes.  He wondered what had caused the change and was about to ask when Booker spoke.  “Look Tommy, if we’re going be partners in this I think there’s something you need to know about me.  “

Tom could see the seriousness in Dennis’ expression and he began to feel alarmed.  “Okay, what’s the problem?” he asked, not sure that he really wanted to know the answer.

Booker remained silent for a couple of minutes.  He had not planned to tell Hanson the truth when he first signed up for this case.  However, Tom had willingly, if somewhat apprehensively, gone along with every suggestion Booker had made regarding the assignment and he felt he owed it to Hanson to be honest.  With a sigh, he came clean.  “I’m bi.”

Tom stared unblinkingly at his partner for a few seconds.  He was sure he had misheard what Booker had said.  “Huh?” he replied, thinking that any minute now Dennis was going to burst out laughing at the look on his face.

But Dennis just stared back, his eyes full of sadness.  Finally, he looked away.  “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

Tom shook his head back and forth rapidly.  “No, no, that’s not it.  I just thought… I don’t know… I thought I misheard you or something.  I mean… _really?_   Wow!  Sorry, I shouldn’t be surprised but…  I mean, you always get the girls but I’ve never seen you with a… not that it’s any of my business.  _WOW!_ "  Feeling embarrassed at his outburst, Hanson dragged his fingers through his hair, another telltale sign that he was nervous.  The gesture made Booker smile.  He could not help it, it was so Tom.

Hanson smiled back, hoping he had not offended his partner too much.   “Why are you telling me now?” he asked.

When Booker finally spoke, it was with slight hesitation.  “I thought it was only fair that you knew the truth about me given our… current situation.  I don’t want you thinking that I’m putting you in a compromising position because of my sexuality.  I’ve kissed other men, I’m assuming you haven’t.”

Tom shook his head.  He felt overwhelmed by the reality of the situation but also pleased that Booker had been able to talk to him about it.  He was hyper aware that he needed to handle the situation delicately.  It had been a brave move on Booker’s part to reveal something he had kept hidden from the whole of Jump Street for six months.  He did not want to make his partner regret his decision to confide in him.  Therefore, with a slow, shy smile, Hanson finally spoke.  “Well then, as you’re the expert I expect you to teach me.”

Booker’s eyes widened in amazement.   When Tom did not recant, he returned the smile.  “Are you sure?  I mean if you feel—”

“For fuck’s sake Booker, get on with it before I lose my nerve!” Hanson laughed despite of the tension he was feeling.

Slowly, Dennis moved closer to Tom.  He placed one hand on his partner’s knee and used the other to cup Hanson’s face.  “You ready?”

Hanson, nodded, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest.  He felt Dennis pull him closer and immediately he closed his eyes.  A few seconds passed and then he felt soft lips pressing against his own.  The kiss was gentle, almost chaste and Tom found himself responding to it.  His lips parted slightly and he felt Dennis’ tongue gain access.  Slowly they explored each other’s mouths, their tongues intertwining.  Hanson’s heart rate began to quicken at the arousal he felt and little by little, he began to panic.  Without warning, he pulled away, dropping his head so as not to meet his partner’s eyes.  He felt Dennis’ hand gently stroke his hair for a moment and then pull away.  Tom glanced up, afraid of what Dennis’ reaction would be.  “So, do you think that was convincing enough?” he asked nervously.

Dennis did not reply.  Hanson’s reaction to the kiss had unnerved him.  He had not expected Hanson to kiss back and yet he had, albeit only for a moment.  Booker’s feelings for his partner had escalated considerably within the last hour and he knew he had to maintain a professional distance so as not to spook Tom and jeopardize their cover.  The case was so important and he could not run the risk of Hanson bailing on the assignment because he had come on too strong.

With a slight nod, he got up and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.  Tom was left sitting alone, wondering how his life had become so complicated.  



	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: Dennis did not reply.  Hanson’s reaction to the kiss had unnerved him.  He had not expected Hanson to kiss back and yet he had, albeit only for a moment.  Booker’s feelings for his partner had escalated considerably within the last hour and he knew he had to maintain a professional distance so as not to spook Tom and jeopardize their cover.  The case was so important and he could not run the risk of Hanson bailing on the assignment because he had come on too strong._
> 
> _With a slight nod, he got up and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.  Tom was left sitting alone, wondering how his life had become so complicated._

**Chapter Three**

Hanson finished off two more beers before deciding to call it a night.  He quietly opened the bedroom door so as not to disturb Booker.  He undressed down to his t-shirt and boxers before climbing into bed.  He lay there almost without breathing, his mind full of the night’s events.  He could not get his thoughts off _that_ kiss.  His body had reacted in a way he had not expected.  He could not remember the last time he had enjoyed a kiss so much.  He thought maybe it was the beer that had made him feel the way he had.  But deep down he knew that kissing Doug would not have brought on those kinds of feelings.  Part of him hated Fuller for putting him in this situation and the other part of him was terrified as to what it all meant.  He was not that naïve that he did not realize that people often experimented with their sexuality, especially during college years.  But he had always seen himself as heterosexual.  He had never once been attracted to another man and yet now he could not get one kiss out of his mind and that kiss had been with Booker of all people.  He let out a soft moan of frustration, but instantly regretted it as he felt Booker roll over to face him.

“You okay?” Booker asked, propping himself up on one arm.

Tom turned to face his bedmate, mirroring his position by propping up on one arm also.  “No, Booker.  Not really.”

An uncomfortable silence stretched out before them until Dennis finally spoke, his voice angry.  “I’m sorry, okay?  It was a stupid idea to practice being a couple.  I only suggested it because… _fuck!_   I don’t know why I suggested it.  I just want to catch the assholes that are beating and raping gay men.  I won’t force you to do anything else you don’t want to.  So let’s just leave it and get some sleep.”  

Booker turned his back to Tom, immediately ending the conversation.  With a sigh, Hanson turned away.  He closed his eyes but found sleep elusive.  He could still feel Booker’s lips on his and try as he might, he could not take his mind off it.  After two hours of driving himself crazy, he eventually got up and went into the living room.  Switching on the TV, he lay on the couch until his eyes finally closed and he fell into an uneasy slumber.

**

Booker woke to the smell of bacon and eggs.  Rolling over onto his back, he yawned loudly and stretched out his tired limbs.  He had heard Hanson leave the bedroom during the night and had contemplated following him.  However, he decided to leave the other officer alone so as not to make the situation worse.  He wondered now, in the clear light of day, how Tom would react to what had happened the night before.  With a sigh, he knew he could not put off the inevitable.  Grabbing clean clothes, he opened the bedroom door.

Tom was already showered and dressed and standing over a fry pan cooking breakfast.  At the sound of the bedroom door, he turned to face a disheveled Booker.  A smile spread across his lips, which caused Dennis to scowl.

“What’s so funny?” Booker asked moodily, a pout forming on his lips.

“Have you seen your hair?” Hanson laughed, pointing at Dennis’ tousled appearance.

“Yeah, right,” answered Booker, a slight smile passing his lips.  “I bet you were a picture when you got up.”

Hanson grinned back, grateful that the awkwardness of the previous night was forgotten.  “Hurry up and get ready, breakfast in ten.”

Booker exited the bathroom just as Tom was serving up.  They sat at the breakfast bar and ate in silence, neither sure how to approach the other.  Finally, Tom who broke the silence.  “About last night… I don’t want it to be weird between us.  We’ve got an important job to do and… well, personal feelings need to be put aside—”

“What personal feelings?” Booker interrupted, giving Hanson a dark look.

“I dunno,” Tom replied, running his fingers through his hair.  “I guess I thought—”

“Thought I was trying to seduce you, is _that_ what you thought?!” Dennis exploded.  “Get over yourself Hanson, you’re not that fucking hot!” Booker stood up, violently crashing his stool to the floor.  “ _Fuck you!_   I’ll see you at school.”  Without another word, he stormed out of the apartment.

“Yep,” Tom murmured to the empty room.  “No one’s gonna have a problem believing we’re a couple.”

**

Tom drove towards the college, all the while keeping an eye out for Booker.  He finally spotted him walking with his head down and his hands shoved deep into his pockets.  Hanson slowed the car but his partner refused to acknowledge his presence.   In frustration, Hanson sped up then slammed on the brakes.  He jumped out of the vehicle and accosted Booker face to face.

“What the hell is your problem?” Tom yelled grabbing hold of Booker’s arm to stop him from walking away.  Dennis lashed out with his fist, catching Hanson straight on the jaw.  The smaller officer fell to the ground, his eyes wide with surprise.  Booker stared down at him, his fists balled up in anger and ready for the counter attack.  But Tom remained on the ground, gingerly rubbing his jaw.

“You feel better now?” he asked Booker, as he scrambled to his feet.  

His partner reached out towards him but Hanson shrugged away and returned to his car.  “You coming?” he called over his shoulder.  Booker remained motionless for a few seconds before moving towards the car and getting into the passenger seat. 

“That probably wasn’t the best public display of affection,” Tom remarked, looking in the rearview mirror as he checked his jaw for bruising.  He turned towards his partner, but Dennis’ dark eyes refused to meet his.  With a sigh, Tom pulled away from the curb and drove the remaining few blocks to Huntsfield College.  He found a park and turned off the engine.  Booker reached for the door handle but Hanson grabbed his arm.  “We need to talk.”

Booker put his hands on the dash as though to calm himself.  After a few moments, he turned to Hanson.  “Okay.  So what do you suggest we do?  Huh?  This is never going to work.  One minute we’re fighting and the next… well, you’ve seen what happens next.”

“Yeah,” replied Tom quietly.  “I can’t explain it either.  But I want to continue with the case.”

Booker stared deep into Hanson’s eyes.  “Do you?  Do you really?  ‘Cause you know what that means.  There is going to be touching and there is going to be kis—”

“I _know_ that!” Tom interrupted, rubbing his hands over his face.  “And I can handle it.  The question is… can you?”

Booker stared straight ahead, deep in thought.  After a few moments he turned back to face his partner.  “Yeah I can,” he said with a slight grin.  “So how ‘bout we start behaving like undercover cops and find these bastards.”

Tom smiled back and gave Booker a mock salute.  “Yes sir!”

**

The two officers sat in the Dean of Admissions office filling out their paperwork.  The only person privy to their real identities was the Dean himself.  With their schedules organized and an hour to kill before their first lecture, they decided to take a stroll around campus.  Tom slid his hand into Booker’s and entwined his fingers around his partners.  Booker showed no reaction to the contact except to give Tom’s hand a slight squeeze.  Together they walked outside into the bright sunshine.  The campus was abuzz with students, some walking to class, others throwing Frisbees and many more picnicking on the manicured lawns.  Booker leaned in close to Tom so he could whisper without others overhearing.  “Over there, by the playing field.  That’s where two of the victims were found.”

Tom nodded, and together they made their way over to where a group of jocks were passing a football back and forth.  They stopped when they saw the two officers approach.

“Hey look fellas,” said the largest of the five men, as he tossed the ball from one hand to the other.  “A couple of queers have come to join in.”

A good-looking man with fair hair came up to his friend and took the ball from him.  “Leave ‘em alone Jenks, they’re not doing you any harm.”

Jenks eyed Tom and Dennis up and down, his face twisted with loathing.  “I dunno Mike, I don’t like the idea of faggots stinkin’ up our school.”

Booker pulled free from Hanson’s grasp and made to attack the bigoted student.  But Hanson pulled him back.  “Don’t,” he muttered.  “Not yet.”

Jenks pointed a menacing finger at Booker.  “You’d better listen to your pretty _boyfriend_ queer or you’re gonna get in a whole lot of trouble.”

As the two officers walked away, Hanson could feel Booker’s anger radiating through his body.  Tom kept a calming arm around his partner’s waist until they had walked to the opposite side of the playing field.  They stopped at a bench and sat down, neither of them speaking for several minutes.  Finally, Tom broke the silence.  “So, what do you think?” he asked.

Booker’s dark eyes flashed with fury.  “I think there are too many assholes in the world.”

Tom could not help but smile.  “Not really what I meant but yeah, I agree.”  He placed a comforting hand on Dennis’ arm.  “We need to keep an eye on those guys.”

Dennis nodded in agreement, his rage slowly subsiding at the touch of Hanson’s fingers.  With a loud sigh, he stood up and offered his hand to Tom.  “C’mon, we’ve got class.”

As they walked back across the playing field, Hanson could feel the jock’s eyes boring into their backs.  He made a mental note of the two names they had heard and the time they had been on the field.  Every piece of information could hold a clue as to who was responsible for the heinous crimes being committed against gay men.  Hanson only hoped that they would figure it out before there was another attack.  



	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: As they walked back across the playing field, Hanson could feel the jock’s eyes boring into their backs.  He made a mental note of the two names they had heard and the time they had been on the field.  Every piece of information could hold a clue as to who was responsible for the heinous crimes being committed against gay men.  Hanson only hoped that they would figure it out before there was another attack._

**Chapter Four**

With only three lectures that day Tom and Dennis were back at the apartment by mid afternoon.  Hanson made the call to Fuller and gave him the information on both Jake Wetherall and the jocks on the playing field.  The senior officer thought Tom sounded stressed but on quizzing him about it he received the standard, “I’m fine Cap’n,” response.  Fuller hoped that the young officer would confide in him if he needed to.  It was a tough case and Hanson was not always forthcoming about his feelings.  Without sounding too pushy, Fuller reiterated to Tom that he could talk to him whenever he needed to.  Hanson thanked his Commanding Officer and hung up.

Grabbing two beers, Tom sat down on the couch next to Booker.  After handing one to his partner, he drank half of his bottle in two mouthfuls then let out a loud burp.  Booker swatted him with a cushion, which made Hanson spill the rest of his beer.  With a loud groan, he got up and fetched another before flopping back down next to Dennis.

“Do you think we should go out tonight, see what’s happening in the bars?” Tom asked, sipping his beer this time.

“Yeah,” Booker replied, finishing his beer and grabbing what was left of Hanson’s.

“Hey!” Tom protested, trying but failing to get the bottle back.  “Never, take another man’s beer.”

Dennis grinned as he polished off the bottle.  “No more beer.  We need to be alert if we’re going out.”

Tom’s bottom lip protruded into a soft pout.  Booker felt his heart quicken at the sight.  _Damn, Hanson was just too pretty_ he thought, before pulling himself together.  It was going to be a long night with plenty of touches and possibly kisses.  Booker needed to keep his mind focused.

“So, how ‘bout we get something to eat then cruise on to the campus bar,” Tom conceded.

“Sure,” Booker agreed, stretching his upper body before standing up.  “I’m going take another shower.”

After his partner had left the living room, Tom stretched out on the couch and closed his eyes.  He contemplated phoning Fuller again whilst Booker was out of earshot.  He wondered if he should disclose Dennis’ secret, given the nature of case they were on.  However, he did not want to betray his partner’s trust.  Dennis had confided in him something that he had kept hidden from the rest of his co-workers.  Eventually, he decided that it was best to keep silent.  He and Booker already had an up and down relationship and he did not want to cause any unnecessary friction that may destroy their case.

Booker returned smelling faintly of aftershave.  With a yawn, Hanson stood up.  “Guess I’d better get cleaned up too.”

Dennis was about to say that Hanson looked perfect the way he was, but he bit his tongue just in time.  Tom disappeared into the bathroom and half an hour later, he emerged wearing a dark blue button down shirt, waistcoat, tight fitting jeans and black boots.

“Damn it Tommy,” Booker muttered, shaking his head slowly back and forth.  “You’re killing me.”

Tom’s mouth dropped open in astonishment.  It was the first time Booker had made an open remark as to how he felt about his partner.  Feeling slightly unnerved Tom bowed his head and shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he walked quickly to the door.  Booker stepped sideways and cut him off.  “Sorry, that was stupid.”

Hanson looked up, his long bangs hiding his expression.  Booker gently moved Tom’s hair out of his dark eyes.  When Hanson did not pull away, he moved his index finger lightly down his partner’s face and stopped at the reddish bruise on Hanson’s jaw.  “Does it hurt?” he asked, his voice barely audible.

Tom shook his head, his heart rate increasing at Booker’s touch.  “We should go,” he murmured.

Booker nodded and pulled his hand away.  He delayed taking Hanson’s hand in his, unsure as to how the younger officer would react after their brief encounter.  But Hanson made the decision by taking Booker’s hand and giving it a tight squeeze.   As they left the apartment hand in hand and walked down the hallway, Jake Wetherall stood in his open doorway, a deep scowl marring his face.

**

The two officers were finishing off their meal at the Magic Noodle House when Tom suddenly poked Dennis on the arm with his chopstick.  “Isn’t that Jake from the apartment?”  Dennis turned slowly and saw their neighbor walking over to their table.  

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Jake asked, once again smiling his phony smile.

Hanson raised an eyebrow at his partner before answering.  “Just finishing up otherwise we’d ask you to join us.”

“That’s okay, I’m meeting someone,” Jake replied.

Uncomfortable silence followed until Tom cleared his throat and stood up.  “So, we should get going, got a big night planned.”

“Oh?” Jake inquired, his eyes narrowing slightly.  “Whatcha doing?”

Booker followed Tom’s lead and stood up, draping his arm over his partner’s shoulders.  “College bar,” he replied.  “Need to unwind a bit from all the studying.”

Jake nodded and stood aside so the two officers could pass.  “Well I’ll be seeing you.”

Tom and Dennis walked away silently.  As Tom paid for their meals, Dennis looked back over his shoulder and saw Jake deep in conversation with another man.  It was not until they were out on the street and walking towards the campus bar that Tom finally spoke.  “There’s something about that guy.”  

“Yeah,” Booker agreed.  “There’s definitely something off about him.”

Within a few minutes, they were at the bar.  It was crowded with noisy college students, all enjoying a reprieve from studying.  Tom and Dennis found a table where they were clearly visible.  They wanted to be on show in case the rapist or _rapists_ were scouting the bar.  Booker bought a couple of beers and they drank them slowly, all the while keeping an eye on the crowd.  After half an hour, Dennis leaned over to his partner and whispered in a low voice.  “I think we need to give them something to look at, don’t you?”

Taking a gulp of beer, Tom nodded.  As he felt Dennis’s finger gently stroke his cheek, he tried desperately not to tense up.  Taking a deep breath he smiled, his eyes gazing deep into his partner’s.  Neither man reacted at first; their eyes remained locked for a full minute until Booker took the initiative.  Leaning forward, he gently cupped his hand behind Tom’s head and pulled him forward until their lips touched.  This time, Dennis did not hold back.  His kiss was deep and passionate, his fingers entangling in Tom’s hair, pulling him closer.   Tom was lifted off his seat and he responded by placing a hand on the back of Booker’s neck so that they were both leaning over the table.  In the background, Tom could hear several wolf whistles, but his mind remained focused on how good it felt to have Dennis’ tongue exploring his mouth, his hand ruffling his hair.  Heat exploded in his stomach as his arousal intensified.  This time though, he did not pull back, instead he took charge and slowed the kiss down.  Dennis read the situation and pulled back, gently nibbling on Hanson’s lower lip before finally pulling away, a slow smile forming on his face.  Panting slightly, Tom grinned back cheekily before leaning forward and tenderly placing his lips against Booker’s.  The second kiss was over in a moment but to Dennis, it seemed to last a lifetime.  As Tom pulled away, he murmured in Dennis’ ear.  “I think that got their attention.”

Both men took a sip of beer.  Tom cast his eye around the packed bar to see if their display of affection had angered any of the patrons.  Returning his gaze to his partner, he muttered, “See anything?”  Booker shook his head, but then gave an almost imperceptible nod.  

“Over there,” he answered, motioning with his eyes.  

Tom slowly turned to follow where Booker was looking.  Three men sat staring directly at them, their faces drawn into angry scowls.  As their eyes met, one of the men drew his finger across his throat in a menacing manner.  In a flash, Booker was standing, his fists clenched.  Tom put a reassuring hand on his partner’s arm.  “Don’t,” he cautioned. 

Booker slowly returned to his seat, his face flushed with anger.  “What the fuck is their problem?”

Hanson could not help but smile.  “C’mon Dennis, we knew we’d get a reaction.”

“Doesn’t make it right.” Dennis replied, his hands shaking slightly.  “Why do people care so much?  You can’t help who you fall in love with.”

Tom saw deep sadness behind the anger in Dennis’ dark eyes and wondered how many times his partner had faced homophobic taunts.  He put a hand on Booker’s arm.  “Are you okay?” he asked.

Dennis nodded and stood up.  “Let’s go.”

Tom frowned.  “Don’t you think we should hang around a little longer?”

“No.”  Dennis replied bluntly.  

Hanson grabbed Booker’s arm and attempted to pull him back down but his partner jerked away angrily.  “Stay if you want, I’ve seen enough.”  Without another word, he turned and left the bar.

Tom sat wondering what to do.  He could understand Booker’s fury but they had been in the bar less than an hour, which really was not long enough to get a feel of the place and its clientele.  The three men sitting in the corner had certainly shown their dissatisfaction at their public display of affection but that did not mean that they were guilty of anything violent towards gay men.  It only meant that they were uncomfortable at witnessing two men kissing.  Deciding to get another drink and wait for an hour, Tom stood up and walked to the bar.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: Tom sat wondering what to do.  He could understand Booker’s fury but they had been in the bar less than an hour, which really was not long enough to get a feel of the place and its clientele.  The three men sitting in the corner had certainly shown their dissatisfaction at their public display of affection but that did not mean that they were guilty of anything violent towards gay men.  It only meant that they were uncomfortable at witnessing two men kissing.  Deciding to get another drink and wait for an hour, Tom stood up and walked to the bar.  
> _

**Chapter Five**

Dennis lay on the couch, furious that Tom had not followed him.  He knew he had overreacted to the taunting from the man at the bar but it made him so fucking angry that people felt they had the right to judge him on his sexuality.  In a normal situation, he would have punched the guy in the face so hard, cartoon birds would have flown above his head.  But he was undercover on a case and Hanson was right to restrain him.  However, he did not think Hanson was right to stay at the bar by himself.  He knew Tom was more than capable of taking care of himself but that did not stop Booker from feeling uneasy.  He looked at the clock and saw he had been home nearly three hours.  Grunting, he heaved himself off the couch and headed for the door, just as the sound of sirens cut through the still night air.  Turning, he walked over to the window and pulled the curtain aside.  His heart began to race as he saw several police cars, lights flashing, stop beside the park across the road.  Another siren sounded as an ambulance raced down the street.  Several people had gathered, wondering what had happened.  

Dennis did not wait to see any more, he ran from the room, desperately hoping that Tom was okay.  As he approached the park, he contemplated showing his badge.  Showing it would blow his cover but it would also allow him access to the scene.  Reaching into his pocket his fingers grasped hold of the leather folder and he pulled it out, hiding it in his hand.  As he neared the playing field, he could see two paramedics leaning over a prone body partially concealed by bushes.  He hurried up to the nearest officer who was attempting to keep the gawkers at a distance.  

“What happened?” Booker asked, desperately hoping that the officer was one who did not follow protocol and would not mind shooting his mouth off to a total stranger.

The police officer gave him a cold, hard stare.  “Nothing to see, move away please.”

“I’m Officer Booker and I’m undercover with my partner, Officer Tom Hanson.  Tell me what happened,” Dennis said as he flashed his badge at the surprised officer.

The uniformed officer introduced himself as Owen Taylor.  As he steered Booker away from listening ears he spoke in a low voice.  “Another young man has been found bashed.  He’s unconscious and there are signs he may have been raped.”

Fear flashed across Dennis’ face and his heart began to pound.  Nervously, he looked around him, hoping to see Tom in the crowd.  Turning back to the older officer, he spoke quickly, trying desperately to keep his voice calm.  “I need to see the victim.  My… my partner is missing and we’ve been undercover as a gay couple.  Please, I need to see who it is.”

Taylor nodded.  He escorted Booker under the police tape that had cordoned off the area.  As they approached the scene, he put a hand on Dennis’ arm and told him to stay back until he had spoken to the paramedics.  It seemed as though hours passed before the officer returned and motioned for Booker to follow him.

As they approached, Booker could see that the young man was already on a stretcher with an IV in his arm.  He appeared to be naked beneath the sheet that now lay across his waist.  Bile rose in Dennis’ throat but he managed to force it down.  His hands were shaking uncontrollably as the female paramedic turned and addressed him.  “Make the ID quick, we need to get him to hospital.”

Booker felt paralyzed and he could not bring himself to move any closer.  Officer Taylor gently took him by the arm and propelled him forward.  They stopped within a foot of the stretcher and it was then that Dennis’ world fell apart.

Lying unconscious, his face a bloody mess and his eyes swollen shut, was Tom.  

“ _Tom!_   Fuck no!” Dennis cried out.

The senior officer nodded to the paramedics and they wheeled Hanson away to the waiting ambulance.  Moving forward, Taylor attempted to put a comforting arm around Booker’s shoulders.  Dennis pulled away before dropping to his hands and knees and vomiting violently.  Several minutes passed before he slowly stood and faced the uniformed officer, his face a mask of despair. 

“Come on son,” Officer Taylor said gently.  “I’ll give you a ride to the hospital.”

As Officer Taylor drove them towards Coleman Memorial Hospital, Dennis broke down.  Burying his face in his hands, he sobbed uncontrollably for his injured partner.  

**

Booker sat with his head in his hands.  He had managed to telephone Fuller before needing to run to the bathroom and vomit for a second time.  He could not bring himself to phone Margaret Hanson.  His only hope was that his Captain would shoulder that burden for him.

Hearing footsteps, he turned to see Captain Fuller and Penhall approaching.  Standing up, he started to speak.  “Coach I—”

There was no warning before Doug’s fist slammed into his face.  Booker fell back against the wall, blood flowing from his broken nose.

“You _SON-OF-A-BITCH!_ ” Penhall screamed, grabbing Booker by the front of his shirt.  Throwing his arm back, he got ready for another swing.

“ _PENHALL!_ ” Fuller roared.  “ _Enough!_ ”

Doug kept his grip on Dennis but dropped his other arm.  He gave Booker a hard shove, sending him crashing back against the wall.  “If he dies, I will kill you,” he said to Dennis in a low, menacing tone.  

Several hospital security guards arrived but Fuller was able to calm the situation.  A nurse appeared with an ice pack and after examining Dennis’ injuries, hurried away.  Penhall paced back and forth whilst continuously slamming his right fist into his left palm, no doubt wishing it were Booker’s face he was damaging.  Time moved slowly.  Whenever a doctor emerged, all three men instinctively turned, only to see the doctor hurry past on his way to some other emergency.  Eventually, after more than two hours of waiting, a doctor addressed the group of worried officers.  

“Who is the next of kin?” Doctor Reid asked brusquely.

Captain Fuller stepped forward.  “I’m Hanson’s Commanding Officer, Captain Adam Fuller.  I’ve been unable to reach Tom’s mother.”

The doctor nodded absently, all the while examining his clipboard.  “Uh huh.  Yes well, we will need to speak to her as soon as possible.”

“That’s it?” Doug asked, his tone confrontational.  “I’m his partner and best friend, so you’d better tell me what the hell is going on.”

Once more Fuller intervened by placing a hand on Penhall’s shoulder.  “Easy Doug,” he placated.  Turning to the doctor, he continued.  “Hanson is not only our friend and colleague, this is now an official police investigation.  So please, is there somewhere we can talk?”

Doctor Reid considered Fuller’s statement before giving a small nod and motioning the three officers into the empty waiting room.  Closing the door his manner became business like.

“Officer Hanson has sustained multiple injuries, the most serious being a head injury caused by blunt force trauma.  There is swelling on the brain and he is in a coma.  His whole body has received a very severe beating and we are currently doing scans to see how bad his internal injuries are.   There are ligature marks on his wrists, which suggest the use of restraints.  His wrist is broken and his left shoulder dislocated.  It is probable the injuries occurred whilst he was trying to protect himself from his attacker.”  The doctor paused whilst he consulted his notes.  “There are deep lacerations on his back and Officer Hanson has been raped.  There is significant anal tearing to suggest that the attack was brutal and prolonged.  We will of course conduct a full rape kit and test for any STDs.”  Looking up from his clipboard, he stood and opened the door.  “I’m sorry, but that is all I can tell you at this time.”

The three Jump Street officers left the hospital in silence.  As they walked outside Fuller turned to Booker, his look unsympathetic.  “I want a full report on my desk by morning and that’s an order.”

Booker nodded, not daring to lift his head and meet the wrath of his superior officer.  Penhall walked up and gave Dennis a hard poke in the chest with his index finger.  “And after you write that report you’d better make yourself scarce around the Chapel ‘cause we don’t want you there no more.”  

He and Fuller then walked away, leaving Booker alone with his grief.

**

The Chapel was mostly empty when Dennis arrived at 4am.  He was glad that he did not have to face any accusatory stares from his fellow officers, especially from Penhall, Ioki and Hoffs.  Sitting down he began the laborious task of typing up his report.  Although tired and distraught, his mind remained fully focused on the job at hand.  He left nothing out, including the kiss at the college bar.  He felt no shame for how he and Hanson had conducted themselves on the case.  His only real regret was storming off into the night and leaving Tom alone.  If he had not let his emotions get the better of him, Hanson would not have been hurt.  He had let his partner down and for that, Booker could never forgive himself.  Having finished his report, Dennis was about to walk into Fuller’s office when the Commanding Officer entered the Chapel.  Seeing Booker, Fuller’s expression hardened before softening slightly as he took in the sight of Dennis’ blackened eyes.  He silently motioned for the officer to follow him and with a sigh, Dennis complied.  After entering Fuller’s office, he closed the door.

“Take a seat Booker,” Fuller instructed, his voice sounding weary.

Dennis placed his report on Fuller’s desk, and sat down.  A long silence stretched out between the two officers as Fuller read Dennis’ account of the case.  When he had finished he looked Dennis straight in the eye.  “There’s nothing in there that you want to change?”

Booker shook his head.  “No Cap’n.”

“You’re sure?” Fuller continued.  “You understand that this report will be on permanent file.”

“Are you worried about mine or Hanson’s reputation?” Booker asked frostily.  “I’ll admit I was the one who screwed up but everything else in that report Hanson and I agreed on.”

“Is that right?” Fuller asked, not quite believing Dennis.  “Because last time I checked, you two didn’t seem to like each other that much.”

Dennis stood up.  “Yeah well, believe what you like.  I’ve done as you’ve asked, so can I go now?”

Fuller nodded.  As Booker opened the door, his Commanding Officer gave one last request.  “Booker, I need your gun and badge.  As of now you’re on suspension, pending a review.”

Dennis turned back, then slowly walked up to Fuller’s desk.  He pulled out his gun and badge and laid them carefully in front of his superior.  “Don’t bother Captain, I quit.”  Without another word, he walked out, leaving the Chapel and his life as a police officer behind.  



	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: Fuller nodded.  As Booker opened the door, his Commanding Officer gave one last request.  “Booker, I need your gun and badge.  As of now you’re on suspension, pending a review.”_
> 
> _Dennis turned back, then slowly walked up to Fuller’s desk.  He pulled out his gun and badge and laid them carefully in front of his superior.  “Don’t bother Captain, I quit.”  Without another word, he walked out, leaving the Chapel and his life as a police officer behind._

**Chapter Six**

After leaving the Chapel, Booker returned to the apartment he and Hanson once shared.  He carefully packed up all of Tom’s personal effects, along with his own.  He was relieved not to have run into Jake, as he felt in no mood to have to fabricate a story as to why they were leaving.  Putting all their belongings into Hanson’s car, he drove back to Jump Street.  As he was getting out of Tom’s Mustang, the door violently slammed back into his legs.

“Hey!” Booker yelled, shoving the door back open.  As he stood up, he saw Penhall’s angry face glowering at him.

“Don’t start,” Booker muttered wearily.  “I’m just here to return Tom’s things.”

Penhall snatched the car keys from Booker’s hand and stomped around to the back of the car.  He opened the trunk and took out both bags.  As he threw Dennis’ on the ground, he gave the ex-policeman a threatening look.  “I never want to see you again, understand?”

Booker nodded, too tired to put up a fight.  But as Doug walked away, Dennis called out, “Has Fuller spoken to Hanson’s Mom?”

When Penhall turned back around, the anger in his brown eyes had vanished but it had been replaced with immense sadness.  “Yeah, she uh…” Doug hesitated before continuing.  “She thinks Tom deserved it because of going undercover as a gay man.   Apparently, he’s sinned in the eyes of God or some bullshit.  I dunno, I knew she was religious but… anyway, she came by and gave Fuller a bible to give to Tom.  It’s supposed to help him repent.”  Penhall looked away for a moment before his voice exploded with emotion.  “She even underlined some passages, Leviticus 18:22 ‘Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination,’ I mean, for fuck’s sake!  How can she think Tommy deserved to be rap…” Doug’s face crumpled and he began to sob.  Booker stood watching, unsure how to react.  Eventually, he stepped forward and put a reassuring arm around Penhall.  Surprisingly, Doug did not pull away and he allowed himself to be comforted.  After several minutes, Doug wiped his eyes and loudly blew his nose.  Extricating himself from Booker’s arm, he gave a watery smile.  

Booker returned the smile, albeit a small one.  Doug took in Dennis’ disheveled appearance and blackened eyes.  He felt a moment of remorse for his behavior the night before and was about to apologize, when Booker spoke.  “Don’t, okay.”

Penhall nodded.  An uncomfortable silence stretched out between them until Doug finally spoke.  “Fuller said you quit.”

Dennis shrugged, as if it was of no consequence to him anymore.  “What about the case?” he asked instead.

“Harry’s on it, he’s undercover with Judy as backup.” Doug replied, as he turned and walked away.  Before he entered the Chapel, he spoke over his shoulder.  “See you at the hospital.”  

It was a statement, not a question so Booker did not respond.  Turning, he picked up his bag and left.

**

The Intensive Care Unit consisted of four beds.  Machines beeped in a constant rhythmic pattern, varying only when the shrill sound of an alarm rang out.   Over the ensuing days, Dennis learnt to hate that sound.  Panic filled his heart and his eyes immediately darted over to the equipment that was monitoring Tom.  He felt dreadful each time he realized it was someone else’s alarm that had sounded.  His relief however, far outweighed the remorseful feelings.  Tom was his priority, he had no time to worry about what else was going on around him.

Five days had passed with no change to Hanson’s condition.  An endotracheal tube helped Tom to breath and he had several intravenous lines inserted into his veins.  A cardiac machine monitored his heart rate, blood oxygen levels and blood pressure.  Hanson’s bruises now had a greenish, yellow tinge and the swelling around his eyes had subsided.  His broken wrist was set in a cast and his right arm was in a sling to protect his healing shoulder.  Each day that passed brought with it the possibility that Hanson may never wake up.  However, Dennis did not allow himself to think those thoughts, as if doing so would somehow prevent Tom from recovering.  Instead, he remained positive, constantly talking to his new friend about all the things they would do when Tom woke up.  Baseball games, bowling, anything he could think of he chatted about, all in a hope of reaching Tom.  But Hanson remained motionless, the constant beep of the monitor slowly driving Dennis mad.  During quiet times, Booker gently stroked the back of Tom’s hand with his thumb.  On one occasion, Harry had walked into the room whilst Dennis was tenderly stroking Hanson’s hair.  An uncomfortable silence had followed until Dennis eventually left the ICU so Ioki could visit Tom alone.  Although Penhall and Booker had established an uneasy truce, both Harry and Judy gave Dennis a wide berth.  Neither of the officers could understand how it was that Dennis and Tom had become so close during their assignment.  It was now a known fact that Dennis was bisexual and both Ioki and Hoffs felt uncomfortable about how Booker and Hanson had conducted their case.  Captain Fuller remained civil to Booker when their paths crossed but he, like Harry and Judy, had trouble comprehending the fact that Dennis and Tom may have formed a relationship that extended beyond friendship.

After her initial visit to Captain Fuller, Margaret Hanson had not inquired after her son’s health and neither had she visited Tom.  She had instructed the hospital to consult with Adam concerning Tom’s treatment.  The bible she had sent lay on the cabinet next to Tom’s bed.  Every time it caught his eye, Dennis felt the urge to rip out the pages and hurl the book across the room.  Instead, he remained calm as he stared at Tom’s lifeless body day after day, all the while praying silently to a God he did not believe in, for Tom to wake up.

**

Booker’s finances, or lack thereof, were becoming an issue.  He needed to find a job or he would be homeless and living in his car by the end of the month.  His heart however, was not in it.  He wanted or maybe he needed to be by Tom’s bedside every day, which made searching for work near impossible.  Eventually though, common sense prevailed.  He applied for and was promptly employed as a security guard at the local mall.  The pay was appalling, but the hours were suitable, 9am until 5pm, Monday through Saturday.  It was convenient enough for Booker to be able to spend evenings and all day Sunday with Hanson.  He smiled to himself as he collected his uniform.  Not too long ago his pride would have prevented him from taking such a job.  He had always seen himself as superior to the rent-a-cops he had secretly poked fun at over the years.  How times had changed.  Now he was one of them and if truth were told, he really could not have cared less.

The following day he started his first shift at South Central Plaza.  The work was tedious and unfulfilling.  He located several lost children and apprehended a teenage shoplifter.  Time passed slowly and it was a huge relief when 5pm finally arrived and he could clock off.   He changed out of his uniform and into street clothes before leaving the mall.  Arriving at the hospital at 6.10pm, he rode the elevator up to ICU, all the while wondering what Tom would think about his career change.  Alighting on the fourth floor, he greeted Tom’s regular nurse with a wave.  Nurse Jackson hurried towards him, her expression anxious.  Booker felt his heart jump into his throat.  Something was obviously wrong.

“Dennis,” the mature aged nurse gasped.  “His eyes are open.”

Booker’s world began to spin.  He could see that Nurse Jackson was speaking to him but her words made no sense.  Sweat beaded on his forehead and his knees began to buckle.  Deep in his subconscious mind he realized he was about to faint but he was powerless to prevent it.  Nurse Jackson’s face swam in front of him before blackness shrouded his vision and he collapsed to the floor.

**

Dennis’ first awareness was that something cold was pressing against his forehead.  His second awareness was a gentle female voice speaking to him.  “There you are sweetie, you didn’t half give me a fright.  I’m going to help you to sit up, just lean on me.”

Booker’s eyes came into focus and he saw Nurse Jackson leaning over him.  With a grunt, he hoisted himself into a sitting position as a wave of embarrassment washed over him.  “Sorry,” he murmured, rubbing an unsteady hand through his hair.  “Guess I should have eaten something.”

Nurse Jackson smiled.  Over the short period of time she had known Dennis, she had become extremely fond of Officer Hanson’s dark-haired friend.  She was unsure as to the extent of their relationship but what she did know was how much Dennis cared for Tom.  She saw it in every gesture that Dennis made and every look he gave his unconscious friend.  She had seen similar looks in the eyes of Tom’s other colleague, Doug.  But not to the same degree.  There was something very special between Dennis and Tom, of that she was certain.  She gave Booker a warm smile.  “Can you stand up?”

Dennis nodded and taking Nurse Jackson’s arm for support, he got to his feet.  Leaning against the wall, he spoke in a shaky voice.  “Tom?”

Nurse Jackson slowly guided Booker to a chair and instructed him to sit down.  She seated herself next to him and took his hand in hers.  “Tom has opened his eyes but that doesn’t mean that he’s aware of what is going on around him.  Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“So what does it mean?” Dennis asked.  “Will he recover?”

“The doctor’s assessing him but it’s very early days.  It could take a month before he’s aware of his surroundings.  After that, well… he’ll probably need speech and physical therapy,” Nurse Jackson replied.  “He’ll need round the clock care once he’s released.  Most patients go into a rehabilitation facility but others who have strong family support, can go home.”

Booker slowly processed the information.  It could be months, possibly years before Hanson once again became the man he had fallen in love with.  But it did not matter.  All that mattered was that Tom was on the path to recovery.  

Turning to Nurse Jackson, he smiled his winning smile.  “When can I see him?”  



	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: Booker slowly processed the information.  It could be months, possibly years before Hanson once again became the man he had fallen in love with.  But it did not matter.  All that mattered was that Tom was on the path to recovery._
> 
> _Turning to Nurse Jackson, he smiled his winning smile.  “When can I see him?”_

**Chapter Seven**

Booker anxiously waited for Nurse Jackson to return and tell him he could see Tom.  Whilst he waited, he found a pay phone and rang Penhall, only to get his answering machine.   He left a message about Tom’s condition and hung up.  He did not feel the need to phone Fuller as he expected that the hospital would relay the news, given that he was now in charge of Hanson’s medical decisions.  An hour passed before both Doctor Reid and Nurse Jackson entered the fourth floor waiting room.  Booker immediately started to rise, but Doctor Reid motioned for him to remain seated.  

“Can’t I see him?” Dennis asked, nervously chewing on his lower lip.

“Tomorrow,” Doctor Reid replied curtly.  Not waiting for Booker to respond, he abruptly turned on his heel and left.

Seeing Dennis’ bewildered expression, Nurse Jackson sat down and gave a smile of encouragement.  “The doctor can be a little terse, but he’s the best in the state.  What he neglected to tell you was that they’re sending Tom for a CT scan.  Go home, get some rest and come back tomorrow, we should have more information by then.”  Patting Booker affectionately on the knee she returned to her duties.

Booker remained in the waiting room for another ten minutes before leaving the hospital and driving home.  Entering his apartment, he threw his car keys in the metal bowl by the door.  He had barely collapsed onto the couch before a second wave of dizziness hit him.  As his vision blurred, he realized that he had not eaten since breakfast.  Mall food was not an appetizing option and he had risen too late to make himself lunch.  Waiting until his sight returned to normal, he carefully stood up.  On wobbly legs, he walked to the kitchen and grabbed day old pizza and a beer from the fridge.  He returned to the couch and switched on the TV.  Settling back, he satisfied both his hunger and thirst, before slowly drifting into an exhausted sleep.

**

Having awoken late, Booker only just made it to his shift on time.  His co-worker’s face showed that he was unimpressed with his new partner, but Dennis barely registered his colleague’s dissatisfaction, his mind was on Tom and how he would be able to see him once his interminably long workday was over.  Not wanting to duplicate his performance of the previous evening, he made sure he ate a filling lunch so as not to have to bother with eating at the hospital.  He wanted to spend as much time with Tom as he could now that there were signs he was recovering.  More than anything else, he wanted to be the one who was at Hanson’s bedside when he finally became aware of his surroundings.

Exiting the mall car park, Booker could feel his excitement mounting.  He knew he had overly high expectations as to what he would encounter when he walked into the ICU, but he just could not help it.  The thought of seeing Tom’s soft brown eyes was exhilarating.  The fact that Tom would have no awareness of him even being in the room did not dampen his spirits.  Hanson opening his eyes was just the first step and everything else that would once again make Tom whole would ultimately follow.

Stepping out of the elevator, Dennis almost collided with Penhall.  “Hey,” Dennis greeted his ex colleague enthusiastically.  “Have you seen him?”

Doug ran a hand across his tired eyes.  He had been sitting with Hanson for most of the day and exhaustion from doing nothing had set in.  Seeing the hope and exhilaration in Dennis’ eyes only pulled him down further.  With a sigh, he took Booker by the arm and steered him into the waiting room.  “Let’s grab a coffee okay?”

“Is something wrong? Booker asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Without replying, Penhall pushed several coins into the coffee vending machine and waited patiently for the cups to fill.  By the time he had finished, Booker was almost beside himself with worry.

“Here,” Doug said, handing a steaming cup of black coffee to Dennis before sitting down.  He again ran his hand over his tired eyes before speaking.  “Booker, I think you need to be prepared… it’s just… I don’t know what you’re expecting but seeing Tom lying there with his eyes open but not actually _seeing_ … well, it’s kind of unnerving.”

Dennis slowly nodded as his jubilant mood evaporated.  He had been stupid to get so excited over such a small step in Tom’s recovery.  Nurse Jackson had explained everything to him the night before but he had allowed his imagination to run away with the idea of Tom being awake.  He had dreamed about Tom the previous night and had awoken to find himself fully aroused.  As he brought himself to orgasm he imagined it was Hanson’s hand around his cock and not his own.  His expectations concerning Tom’s recovery were too high and he knew he was setting himself up for a massive disappointment.  He needed a serious reality check if he was going to make it through the next few months and be there to help Tom in whatever way he needed.  

Turning his head, he gave Penhall a sad smile.  “You’re right, it was stupid of me to imagine everything would be fine just because Tom’s opened his eyes.  It’s just I…” his voice trailed off without finishing the words _miss him so much._

“C’mon,” Penhall said, throwing his empty cup into the trash.  “I’ll take you in to see him.”

**

Lying in bed unable to sleep, Booker thought back over the nights events.  Penhall had been right, seeing Tom staring sightlessly into space _was_ unsettling.  It had been far easier to see Tom with his eyes closed, as if asleep.  Nevertheless, Booker had stayed until the night staff asked him to leave.  Driving home, he had stopped at a bar for a nightcap.  One drink turned into five and he knew he would feel like shit in the morning.  However, the Jack Daniels had the desired effect in relaxing both his mind and body.  He considered buying a bottle and taking it home but he knew that scenario would only end in disaster.  Alcohol was not the answer to his worries.   He needed to keep a clear head and hold onto his job if he was going to be of any help to Tom.

**

A month passed and each day for Dennis was a repetition of the day before; work at the mall then to the hospital to see Tom.  Only on Sundays did the routine vary.  Dennis would work out in the morning and visit Tom in the afternoon until visiting hours ended at 8pm.  He found conversation more difficult after such a long period so he had begun reading the newspaper to Tom instead.  Penhall usually visited on Sunday afternoons as well and Booker was grateful for the company.  During their time together, he and Doug had become close to the point of actually being friends.  It was lonely sitting day after day with an unresponsive patient, but Dennis never considered not coming in to see Tom.  The ICU had become his existence and his life of old was a distant memory.

Tom’s condition remained stagnant over the ensuing weeks.  His CT scans had however, provided some good news.  The swelling on Tom’s brain was no longer evident.  Tom’s breathing tube had been removed, as had the cast on his wrist.  However, his arm remained in a sling as a reminder to the nurses to turn him with care.  It was a shock for Booker the first time he had witnessed a nurse rolling Tom over.  A large bandage stained in blood, covered the top of Hanson’s back.  When the nurse removed it, Booker could see that the word _WHORE_ crudely carved deep into Tom’s skin.  Tears had filled Dennis’ eyes at the degradation his friend had been subjected to.  He could only hope that the bastard who had hurt Tom would eventually be found.  The case, according to Penhall, had gone cold and no other men had been attacked.  That however, did not mean that they had given up.  Harry was still undercover, although Judy was currently on another assignment.

Day thirty-eight heralded a promising sign.  Booker had been sitting silently, holding Tom’s hand.  At first, he thought he had imagined the slight squeeze of his fingers but when it happened for a second time, he jumped to his feet, calling out Nurse Jackson’s name.  When Doctor Reid entered, Booker had been briskly ushered from the ICU.  Time stood still as Dennis waited in the corridor, not daring to get his hopes up.  Within minutes, Nurse Jackson appeared wearing a huge smile and this time, he knew it was good news.  

Walking rapidly towards her he heard the words he had been longing to hear.  “Dennis, he’s waking up.”

**

Dennis had not been permitted back into the ICU following Tom’s awakening, so he had instead driven to Doug’s apartment.  A disheveled Penhall opened the door and seeing Dennis’ tear-filled eyes, he quickly ushered him in.

Doug’s voice was frantic when he asked, “What is it?  What’s happened?”

As a tear slowly trailed down Dennis’ cheek, Doug’s face visibly paled.  Then Dennis smiled, and laughing and crying at the same time, he explained how Tom had squeezed his hand.  

Grabbing a couple of beers, Doug motioned for Dennis to sit down as he handed him his drink.  “So what did the Doc say?” he asked, swigging down half his bottle in an effort to steady his shaky hands.

“He didn’t.  I mean, I didn’t speak to him but Nurse Jackson said it was a sign that he was waking up,” Dennis replied happily.

“Booker…” Penhall paused, as he chose his words carefully.  “You know it could still take months—”

Dennis slammed his beer down onto the table.  “Damn it Penhall, I _know_ that!  I just _need_ to be happy when I see some progress and I don’t care how long it takes.  This is _Tom_ we’re talking about.  Don’t you want him back the way he was?”

“Of course I do!” Doug snapped back angrily.  “But I’m not blind to the fact that he may never be the Tom we all knew.”

“Would it matter?” Booker asked quietly, his dark eyes staring Doug down.

Penhall did not reply.  He sat thinking what it would be like not to have his best friend back the way he used to be.  Sadness filled his heart at the prospect of never again sharing a stupid McQuaid-ism with his partner.  But Booker was right, it should not matter.  What was important was that Tom was alive.  Everything else he would deal with as necessary.

Looking at Dennis, he saw only a devotion for Tom in the brown eyes.  “You really care about him don’t you?” he asked.

Booker’s dark eyes softened and taking a deep breath, he replied tenderly.  “I _love_ him Doug.”

Penhall did not respond.  He wondered if Booker was slightly delusional in his feelings for Tom.  Even though he had read Dennis’ report, he could not imagine that Tom had behaved in the manner that had been described.  But he could not fault the dedication Booker had shown to Tom since the attack.  If nothing else, Booker had proved himself to be a valuable and loyal friend to Tom and Doug hoped that when Tom woke up, he would appreciate it.

Taking Doug’s silence as disapproval, Booker finished his beer and stood up.  “Guess I’ll get going,” he muttered as he walked to the door.

“Booker wait, I didn’t—” but Doug’s sentence was cut off by the slamming of the door.

**

Over the coming week, Tom continued to react to touch by returning a squeeze to Booker’s hand or moving his head when Booker stroked his hair.  Although impatient for more, Dennis accepted that Penhall was right and Tom’s progress would be slow.  Nurse Jackson had shown him how to apply physiotherapy to Tom’s arms and legs.  Dennis spent hours diligently working Hanson’s limbs in the hope that it would make a difference when he finally woke up.  However, his greatest wish was for Hanson’s brown eyes to focus on his own.  

The Jump Street team still visited but not as often as previously.  Penhall was Tom’s only other real visitor apart from Dennis.  After the night at Doug’s apartment, neither Booker nor Penhall had alluded to Dennis’ declaration of love for Hanson.  For that, Booker was eternally grateful.  He knew Penhall did not understand and he did not want his feelings for Tom to sour their new and rather shaky friendship.  Penhall was Hanson’s best friend and by default that made Doug someone Dennis wanted to know.  Also, he was appreciative of Doug’s company at the hospital.  Since Tom’s attack, Booker had distanced himself from most of his friends, mainly because he just did not have the time to socialize anymore.  Not that he minded, he had never really been one for company but having Doug around to share in the small achievements of Tom’s recovery was most welcome.  He was careful not to show Tom too much affection when Doug was in the room, as he did not want to make Penhall uncomfortable.  However, both men would hold Hanson’s hands and try to stimulate Tom’s inactive brain with squeezes and strokes.  It was during one of these sessions that Tom turned his head to stare unfocusedly at Penhall.

“Hey Tommy,” Doug murmured.  “When are you gonna come back to us, huh?”

Tom’s eyes blinked closed for a moment before reopening.  Instead of the blank stare, Penhall could see panic in Hanson’s eyes.

Startled, Doug jumped to his feet, the force knocking over his chair.  “ _JESUS!_ ” he proclaimed loudly.  “Get the fucking Doctor!”

Unnerved, Booker stared down at Tom’s face, only to see the same fear and confusion that Penhall had witnessed.  He squeezed Hanson’s hand tightly in both of his.  “It’s okay Tom,” he soothed, his voice shaking uncontrollably from the shock.  “You’re going to be okay, do you hear me?  You’re going to be okay.”

When Doctor Reid arrived, both men were asked to leave the room.  Walking into the corridor Penhall placed a trembling hand on Booker’s shoulder.  At the contact, Dennis let out a loud sob and burying his face in his hands, he stumbled blindly down the hallway.  Hurrying after him, Penhall grabbed hold of Booker and pulled him into his arms.  Dennis fought to get away but Penhall held him tightly until Booker finally succumbed and broke down in the Jump Street officer’s arms.  

**

One week after his awakening, Hanson had been moved to a private room.  A week later, although still not speaking, Tom was starting to make positive progress with his recovery.  However, it was around that time that Dennis began to notice subtle changes in Tom’s behavior.  At first, Booker had been delighted at the room change as it meant more alone time with Tom.  Gradually though, Hanson began to withdraw from any contact with Booker.  Whenever Dennis tried to take Tom’s hand or stroke his hair, Hanson would pull away.  Waiting until Sunday, he observed Hanson’s reaction to Penhall.    Tom’s whole demeanor changed when Doug entered the room.  He seemed content to let Penhall hold his hand, all the while never taking his eyes off his friend.  Booker took his concerns to Doctor Reid and was abruptly dismissed as being overly clingy and to give Hanson some space to be able to process all that had happened to him.  When Hanson began to ignore Booker completely, Dennis could hold back no longer.  He sat down on the edge of the bed and taking Hanson’s hand in his he asked, “Tommy, what’s wrong?”

Pulling his hand away, Tom turned to Penhall.  Booker attempted again to take Hanson’s hand but this time Hanson jerked violently away as a soft gurgling sound emitted from his lips.  Both Dennis and Doug leaned closer, as it was the first sound Tom had uttered.  Hanson eyes desperately searched Penhall’s face as if looking for an answer.  A minute passed before Tom managed to croak,      “W-w-why?”

Doug’s face lit up at the sound of his friend’s voice.  “Why what Tommy?”

Hanson swallowed several times before motioning towards Booker with his eyes.  “W-w-why’s… he… h-here?” he asked in a faltering voice.

The pain in Dennis’ eyes was immediately evident.  “Tommy please!” Booker implored, trying again to take Hanson’s hand.  “Don’t you remember?”

Wrenching his hand away and dismissing Dennis with a turn of his head, Tom uttered, “G-g-get out.”

Standing, Booker made one final effort to meet Tom’s eyes.  Having failed, he silently left the room.

 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: The pain in Dennis’ eyes was immediately evident.  “Tommy please!” Booker implored, trying again to take Hanson’s hand.  “Don’t you remember?”_
> 
> _Wrenching his hand away and dismissing Dennis with a turn of his head, Tom uttered, “G-g-get out.”_
> 
> _Standing, Booker made one final effort to meet Tom’s eyes.  Having failed, he silently left the room._

**Chapter Eight**

_12 months later_

A cold blustery wind drove heavy rain against the windows of Booker’s office.  Sitting with his feet up on his desk, Dennis read the notes of his latest case.  As a qualified Private Investigator, he was earning enough to be choosy as to which cases he took on.  He had a nice office in a respectable neighborhood, which in itself, brought in a better class of clientele.   His latest assignment was a case in point.  Rich, elderly widow searching for the baby she had given up for adoption.  Dennis had already made contact with the adoptee and she was thrilled at the thought of meeting her birth mother.  

Preparing to phone his client with the news, he glanced over to the window and noticed a figure scurrying past.  Several moments later, a knock sounded at his door.

“It’s open,” he called out, dropping his feet from the desk in a burst of professionalism.  Beginning to stand so he could welcome his visitor, he froze half way when he saw the rain soaked figure that walked through the door.

“Hey,” Penhall greeted, grinning his lopsided grin.  

Booker remained silent, his look changing from one of shock to one of resentment.  After walking out of Tom’s hospital room Dennis had not returned.  He could not cope with Hanson’s rejection after everything they had been through since signing up to the Huntsfield College case.  Secretly, he had hoped that Penhall would keep him informed as to Hanson’s progress but over the ensuing months, he had received no contact from any of the Jump Street officers.  Depression had hit him hard.  He used alcohol and sex to dull his pain, which ultimately cost him his job at the mall.  It did not take long for his meager savings to dry up and within a month, his worst fear had been realized; he was homeless and living in his car.  It was however, the wakeup call he needed.  He cleaned himself up and obtained his Private Investigator’s license.  His first few cases had barely paid the rent on his office space, meaning he slept and worked out of the same building.  However, it did not take long for word to spread and he quickly gained a reputation as a thorough, if somewhat unorthodox investigator.  Within five months, he had moved to his current location and was renting a trendy apartment overlooking the ocean.  Memories of Hanson were never far from the surface but Dennis had learnt to push them aside in favor of keeping busy.  In truth, it was the only way he could survive with day-to-day living.  Thoughts of Tom and what could have been were just too painful.

Now his past had once again caught up with him in the shape of Doug Penhall.  Silently moving around to the other side of his desk, Booker moved some paperwork off a chair and motioned for Doug to sit.  Returning to his leather recliner, he sat down and leaning back, he hoped he gave the appearance of nonchalance.  “So,” he stated sardonically.  “How did you find me?”

Penhall ran his fingers through his dampened hair.  “Police officer, remember?” he quipped.  “Anyway, I kind of figured this line of work would be right up your alley.”

Anger flushed the skin of Dennis’ face.  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

Doug raised his hands in mock surrender.  “Whoa, take it easy Booker.  I just meant you were a good cop and being a security guard was a waste of your talents.”

Booker’s face relaxed.  “Sorry.  You being here is a bit of a shock.  I mean… it’s been twelve months Penhall, why has it taken you this long to track me down?”

Doug let out a sigh.  “I couldn’t before ‘cause I had to do what was best for Tommy.  But over the last few months things have changed.”

Dennis could feel his pulse quickening.  He was about to get news about Hanson after a year of not knowing.  Now that the time had finally come, he was not sure he wanted to know.  Sometimes, as the saying went, ignorance was bliss.  What if Tom had not fully recovered?  Did he really want to have his memories of Tom tarnished?  Even though he knew he would love a disabled Tom as much, if not more, than an able-bodied Tom, he was not sure his emotions could take it.  He knew his heart would break knowing that Tom was suffering.  But burying his head in the sand was not how Booker wanted to live his life.  He had achieved so much in the last six months and he feared he would once again lose everything if he did not face up to reality.  As he chewed nervously on his bottom lip, he came to a decision.  No matter what, he needed closure.

Raising his eyes, he stared unwaveringly at Penhall.  “Changed in what way?” he asked.

Penhall face once again broke into a lopsided grin.  “He wants to see you.”

**

At Penhall’s revelation, Booker felt tears welling in his eyes.  Pinching the bridge of his nose, he hurriedly blinked them back.  Sensing Dennis’ emotional state, Doug remained silent until Booker had composed himself.  When Dennis once again met his eye, Penhall recounted the last twelve months of Hanson’s recovery.  

Hanson had made slow improvement at the hospital but it had taken a further two months before he was deemed fit enough to be moved into a rehabilitation facility.  It was at Grove Rehabilitation Center that he had begun the painful process of learning to walk, dress and feed himself again.  He had an aversion to being touched, which made rehabilitation much harder for the therapists.  But they persisted regardless, even when he was screaming for them to stop.  He had also received extensive speech therapy as he had developed a debilitating stutter, which the doctors believed was a result of his head injury.  During this time, Doug explained how Tom had become severely depressed, which had hindered his progress even further.   It took several months of trial medications before Hanson was once again mentally fit enough to continue his treatment.  Dogged determination had seen him finally able to walk with only the aid of a cane.  His speech impediment had unfortunately persisted and it caused Hanson a great deal of unhappiness.  The doctors were unsure as to whether it would eventually correct itself, saying only time would tell.   Tom had spent a total of seven months at the center and when the doctors finally signed off on his release, he and Penhall had found an apartment to share.  Doug had taken two months leave so he could be with Hanson during the initial settling in period.  It had been tough on them both, Hanson had turbulent mood swings, often brought on by pain and frustration and Penhall regularly found his patience tried to the limit.  Their friendship however, had seen them through the worst of it and over the last few months, they had settled into a chaotic routine of sorts.  That was until a few weeks ago when Hanson’s nightmares had started.  Up until that time, he had not remembered any of what had happened to him.  Told of the rape through therapy sessions, it did not hit hard until the nightmares began and his memories slowly started to filter back.  It had been not long after that he had begun asking Penhall questions about Booker.  Unable to give Tom the answers he needed, Doug had agreed to find the ex police officer.

This time, Dennis was unable to contain his feelings.  The tears that had been threatening to fall finally brimmed over.  Frustrated at his lack of control he furiously pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes in an effort to stem the flow.  He felt strong arms embrace him and he struggled to pull away.  But Doug held him firm and he found himself giving into the comfort and sobbing deeply into Penhall’s broad chest, the pain of Tom’s ordeal too much to bear.   

After several minutes, Dennis gently disengaged himself from Penhall’s hold and rubbed an arm across his tear stained face.  It took several minutes more before he felt strong enough to speak.  “What do you want me to tell him?”

Doug did not hesitate to answer.  “I want you to tell him the truth… the truth about everything.”

Dennis’ eyes narrowed skeptically.  “Is that right?  ‘Cause last time I checked, no one wanted to believe that Hanson and I had feelings for each other.  What’s changed?”

“Tommy’s changed!” Penhall snapped back angrily.  “Damn it Booker, I’ve spent the last year of my life seeing my best friend struggle like a toddler.  Every accomplishment that he was so damn proud of broke my heart.  I don’t give a rat’s ass about anything now except Tom’s happiness.  He wants to see you, I make it happen, end of story.”

Dennis closed his eyes for a moment before replying.  “What makes you think I’m the one that’ll make him happy?”

“You’re the one who can give him answers Dennis, as for the rest… I can’t answer that,” Doug replied.

Booker nodded slowly before giving Doug a hesitant grin.  “Well then, what are we waiting for?”

As the two men walked outside into the cold, damp night, Doug wondered how Tom would cope with everything that Dennis was about to reveal.

**

Sitting in Doug’s car, Dennis nervously drummed his fingers on the dashboard.  He was starting to wonder if he had made a huge mistake.  It would have been far more sensible to go home and think through what he would say to Hanson rather than go barreling in with no plan of attack.  If what Doug had told him was true, any wrong move could send Tom over the edge and Booker did not want to be responsible for Hanson’s relapse.  Just as he was about to tell Penhall to turn the car around, Doug lashed out at Dennis’ drumming fingers.  “For fuck’s sake Booker, stop it!”

Dennis pulled his hands away.  “Sorry,” he replied sheepishly.  “I’m kinda nervous.”

Turning his head, Penhall gave him a reassuring smile.  “Don’t be.  Just... you need to be prepared for how he is now, okay?”

Dennis did not reply.  Penhall’s words only increased his anxiety.  He was terrified that he would not be able to keep it together when he eventually laid eyes on the man who had once meant so much to him.  This was not how the story was supposed to go.  They should have fallen in love in a slow, dramatic style like in the movies and in the end, they would have caught the bad guys and lived happily ever after.  None of what had happened to Tom after he left the college bar that night was in the script.  It was supposed to be a love story, not a horror story.  But as Booker’s mother used to say, _if wishes were horses, beggars would ride._   There was no point in longing for a different outcome.  This was the hand that had been dealt and all Booker could do now was play it.

As Doug pulled the car into a parking space outside his and Tom’s apartment, Dennis felt his fear increase.  Twelve months of not knowing had led to this moment.  Within minutes he would see his beloved Tom, talk to his beloved Tom and maybe hold his beloved Tom.  However, as quickly as the fear had come, it dissipated and Dennis suddenly felt a calmness traverse through his body.  He was longing to get inside and see for himself how Tom really was.  

Only then he would know for sure if a new love story was about to be written.

 


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: As Doug pulled the car into a parking space outside his and Tom’s apartment, Dennis felt his fear increase.  Twelve months of not knowing had led to this moment.  Within minutes he would see his beloved Tom, talk to his beloved Tom and maybe hold his beloved Tom.  However, as quickly as the fear had come, it dissipated and Dennis suddenly felt a calmness traverse through his body.  He was longing to get inside and see for himself how Tom really was._
> 
> _Only then he would know for sure if a new love story was about to be written._

**Chapter Nine**

At first glance, the apartment appeared to be like any typical bachelor pad.  Dirty dishes sat piled in the kitchen sink, items of clothing hung off the backs of chairs and the open bathroom door revealed a raised toilet seat.  It was only after closer inspection that Dennis noticed signs of Tom’s disability.  The bathroom had railings both in the shower and on the wall next to the toilet.  A shower chair was also in view.  The kitchen utensils all had large handles for easy grip and several bowls had large central channels allowing food to be scooped up easily using one utensil.  A walking frame also sat beside a comfortable looking high-seated living room chair.   All these items were testament to Tom’s daily struggles and Dennis felt a pang of pain imagining how hard it was for Tom just to exist day after day.  Two other rooms led off from the main living area.  One was a very untidy bedroom full of gym equipment, which Dennis guessed was Doug’s room.   The door to the other room was closed.

Doug slammed the apartment door shut, causing Dennis to jump.  “Mi casa, su casa,” Doug said cheerfully, motioning towards the couch.  “Make yourself at home, I’ll be back in a minute.”

Dennis sat down as Doug knocked lightly on Tom’s bedroom door.  A quiet “ _Yeah?_ ” could be heard from inside the closed room and Dennis’ heart began to pound.  Doug entered and closed the door behind him.  Several long minutes passed before Doug returned, his face showing slight agitation.  “You can go in but try not to upset him, he’s a little fragile.”

Dennis’ face showed alarm.  “Maybe it would be best if I—” 

Penhall cut him off.  “No, he wants to see you he’s just had a bad day.  He’s tired and he’s embarrassed because of his speech.  If it bothers you, don’t show it.  He’s sensitive, you know?”

With a nod, Dennis stood up.  Wiping his palms nervously on his jeans he walked over to Tom’s closed door.  Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and mentally counted to ten.  When he opened his eyes, he felt composed enough to rap on the door.  A moment passed before Dennis heard Tom’s voice.  “C-come in.”

Dennis turned the doorknob slowly and opened the door.  The room was dim; the only light came from the muted television that cast flickering shadows on the bare walls.  Tom sat on the bed with his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped tightly around his legs.  His hair was shorter than Dennis remembered, but his bangs still partly concealed his brown eyes.  He was much thinner and his face was ghostly pale.  As Booker stepped closer to the bed, he saw that a faint scar was still visible on Tom’s cheek.

“Hey D-Dennis,” Tom murmured, a sad smile on his lips.  “I’m g-guessing I’ve ch-changed a bit, huh?”

Booker’s eyes misted over but he kept his emotions in check.  “Hey Tommy, I’ve missed you.”

Hanson patted the bed and Booker sat down.  Now that he was closer, he could see how ravaged Tom really looked.  His heart broke at the difference in his friend.  The cheeky smile and dancing light that had originally drawn Booker in so fully had been replaced by sadness and a tortuous look in Tom’s dead eyes.  Booker could hardly bear the pain but he remained calm, for Hanson’s sake.

Being careful not to meet Dennis’ gaze, Tom cleared his throat as he nervously picked at his blanket.  “D-Doug t-tells me you s-sat by my b-bed every d-day.”

“Yeah,” Dennis replied quietly, not sure what else he should add.

“I’m s-sorry I t-treated you s-so badly, I—”

“Don’t,” Dennis cut in softly.  “I don’t want an apology, okay?  I want to know how you are.  I want to give you the answers you need to be able to start moving forward.  Please Tommy, let me help you.”

Tom took a moment before replying.  “I’m a m-mess Dennis.  I c-can’t eat, I c-can’t sleep, I don’t know which m-memories in my head are r-real and wh-which ones are m-made up.”  He rubbed his fingers wearily over his eyes.  “I n-need answers.”

“What do you want to know?” Booker asked gently.  

This time Tom’s eyes remained fixed upon Dennis.  “D-did we k-kiss?” he asked bluntly.  Receiving a slight nod from Dennis, he boldly continued.  “D-did we k-kiss ‘cause of the j-job or b-because…” his voice trailed off as though unable to finish the question.

“I think it was a bit of both Tommy,” Booker replied.  “We wanted to be convincing, so we could flush out the attackers but I wanted to do it too.  I think part of you enjoyed it and something was beginning to develop between us but… I don’t know, you never said anything so maybe it was just me hoping you did.”

Hanson eyes dropped to the bed and once again he began picking at the blanket before asking, “D-did you l-love me?”

Booker’s heart rate increased at the question.  “Yes,” he replied honestly, his eyes desperately searching Tom’s face for a reaction, but Hanson’s expression remained unreadable.  

“D-do you s-still love me?” Tom persisted.

“Jesus Tom,” Dennis whispered, shaken by the question.  “I don’t know.”  A long silence stretched out between them before Booker concluded sadly.  “I don’t know you anymore.”

A single tear trickled down Hanson’s cheek and he raised his eyes to meet Dennis’ stare.  “D-do you w-want to?  I m-mean—”

“ _Yes!_   _Fuck yes!_ ” Dennis replied immediately, as his own tears finally erupted.  Reaching out, he hesitated for a moment before laying his hand down on the bed close to Tom’s feet.  “Tommy I’ve missed you so much.”

Tom averted his eyes for a moment, before again looking directly at Dennis, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.  “I d-don’t know what you expect f-from me D-Dennis and I d-don’t know w-what I can give you.”

“It doesn’t matter Tommy,” Dennis replied happily, as he wiped the tears from his eyes.  “I just want to be back in your life.” 

Hanson did not reply but a half smile spread across his face, which almost reached his eyes. 

**

Dennis exited Tom’s room and closed the door softly behind him.  His mind was abuzz with all that had happened and his mood was euphoric.  Hanson was once again a part of his life.  It did not matter to Booker if it was only a friendship, what was important was that he could now be a part of Hanson’s recovery.  He had the time and the money to be able to help in whatever way Tom needed.  He longed to see happiness instead of misery on his friend’s face.  If he could see Tom’s true smile once more, that would be reward enough.  

Realizing that he had been standing motionless for several minutes, Booker brought his mind back to the present.  He was aware of Doug’s gaze before their eyes actually met.  

“Grab a beer,” Penhall offered, motioning towards the refrigerator.  “Then we can talk.”

“Want one?” Dennis asked as he walked to the kitchen, but Doug lifted his full bottle in reply.  Taking his beer, Dennis popped the top and walked back into the living area.  He took a seat and raised his bottle in salute. 

“Cheers.”

Doug raised his bottle in return and reaching for the TV remote, he hit the off button.  Dennis immediately wished the television had remained on; the silence in the room was palpable.  He could see that Doug was longing to ask what had transpired between himself and Hanson, but he seemed unsure as how to start the conversation.  Eventually though, only one word was needed.

“So?” 

Booker took a long swig of beer before replying.  “He wants me back in his life.”

“Meaning?”  

Penhall’s monosyllabic sentences angered Booker and his tone reflected his annoyance.  “Meaning just that.  He wants me in his life.  Neither of us knows what that means… yet.”

When Doug asked, “ _Yet?_ ” Dennis was tempted to jump to his feet and slam his fist into Penhall’s face.  Instead, he drained his beer and slammed the empty bottle noisily onto the coffee table.

“YES! I said fucking _YET!_ ” Dennis exploded angrily.  “ _JESUS CHRIST_ Penhall, what sort of an asshole do you take me for, _huh?_   Do you honestly think I would do anything to Tommy that he didn’t consent to?  He knows I had feelings for him, he knows we kissed and possibly, just possibly, he felt what I felt.  Only time will tell us whether our relationship will become more than just friends.  So why the _FUCK_ are you coming down on me so hard now?  You knew how I felt about Tom, you said you didn’t care and now—”

“I don’t _care_ Booker, but I _know_ you,” Doug replied just as angrily.  “Your heart rules your head.  I saw it every fucking day at the hospital.  Any time Tom made the slightest improvement, you were ready to believe that everything was now okay.  You _never_ saw the bigger picture, you _never_ wanted to accept that Tom may not recover and you sure as hell never…”

“I never what?” Dennis asked crossly when Doug did not finish his sentence.  

Instead of replying, Doug stood up, his face ashen.  “ _Tom!_ ”

Panic gripped at Booker’s heart.  Turning his head, he saw Hanson standing in the open doorway of his bedroom, a walking cane in his right hand.  Tom’s face showed the misery he felt at witnessing his two friends fighting about his welfare.  

_Damn it!_   Booker thought, shame flushing his face.  _How could we be so fucking stupid?_

Tom moved slowly, his gait stiff and slow.  Sitting in the high-seated chair, he faced his two friends.  “W-why are you f-fighting?”

Doug walked over and sat on the arm of Tom’s chair.  Dennis noticed that he did not reach out and give Tom physical contact but when he spoke, his tone was reassuring.  “Sorry buddy, we were just… _shit!_   I don’t know what we were doing.”

“It’s b-because of m-me, isn’t it?” Hanson’s voice was full of despair.  “I’m s-such a f-fucking loser, I c-c-can’t even s-s-speak p-p-prop…”

Unable to finish, Tom began to sob.  Tears of frustration coursed down his beautiful face.  Booker immediately jumped out of his chair and within seconds, he was kneeling at Tom’s feet.  “Please Tom, don’t… it’s not you, it’s us, okay?  Penhall and I are the losers, we should have known better.”

“Yeah,” Doug replied, smiling sheepishly.  “You know me Hanson, shit for brains.”

Tom smiled at Penhall’s poor attempt at humor.  “I’m just s-so t-t-tired,” was all he could manage to reply.

“C’mon,” Doug said tenderly, offering Tom an arm to lean on for support.  “Let’s get you to bed.”

Hanson declined Penhall’s help but instead motioned for Booker to move the walking frame to the front of the chair so he could use it as support.  Holding onto the frame, Tom began the slow walk back to his room.  Before he entered, he turned back and spoke to Booker.  “S-see you t-to-m-morrow?”

Although his heart was full of pain, Dennis smiled back brightly.  “Sure thing.”

Tom’s familiar half smile flashed briefly across his face before he entered his room and closed the door.  



	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: Hanson declined Penhall’s help but instead motioned for Booker to move the walking frame to the front of the chair so he could use it as support.  Holding onto the frame, Tom began the slow walk back to his room.  Before he entered, he turned back and spoke to Booker.  “S-see you t-to-m-morrow?”_
> 
> _Although his heart was full of pain, Dennis smiled back brightly.  “Sure thing.”_
> 
> _Tom’s familiar half smile flashed briefly across his face before he entered his room and closed the door._

**Chapter Ten**

The following morning Booker was awake at first light.  He lay in bed imagining what his first day with Hanson would be like.  Seeing Tom struggling the night before had been a shock and Penhall had been right to say how distorted his view of Tom’s recovery really was.  He needed to let go of his romantic notions and face up to the reality of Hanson’s life.  It was doubtful that Tom would ever be the same man that Booker had initially fallen in love with.  That, however, did not mean that Dennis could not love the new Tom.   He already felt his heart quicken whenever he thought of Hanson and he was certain that his feelings would increase the more time he spent with his ex-colleague.  He hoped that in time, Tom would feel the same way but if that did not happen, Booker was happy to have Tom as a friend.  

Yawning loudly, Dennis threw back the covers and climbed out of bed.  He spent a pleasant half hour under the shower, letting the hot water wash away any apprehension he had about the coming day.  He dressed casually in t-shirt, jeans and boots.  The weather had improved and sunshine filled his large, airy apartment.  He sat out on the deck watching the ocean as he drank strong, black coffee and ate a piece of toast.  He was not hungry but his fainting spell at the hospital had taught him that skipping meals was not in his best interest.

Glancing at the clock, he realized it was still too early to visit Tom.  Penhall had suggested that he get there at about 8am.  Tom would probably not be up but it would give Penhall time to run through Tom’s routine.  

Now that Booker had agreed to “sit” with Tom, Penhall was off desk duty and was about to start on a case at Wilson High School.  Being on desk duty had given Penhall the flexibility to come home every few hours and check on Hanson’s wellbeing but he was glad to finally be back in the field doing what he loved.

Both Booker and Penhall had once again agreed to put their differences aside and focus solely on Hanson.  Dennis knew that Doug had Tom’s best interests at heart but he wished the Jump Street officer would understand that he too wanted only the best for Hanson.  He wondered if jealousy was a factor in how Penhall treated him.  Tom and Doug were best friends and maybe he thought Booker was trying to take Tom from him.  But Dennis knew his friendship with Tom was built on a different foundation and therefore Penhall had no need to worry.  In time, he hoped the three men would have a bond of close friendship, trust and understanding.  Until then, it was one day at a time.

Checking the clock for a second time, Booker decided that if he drove along the coastal road to Tom and Doug’s, he would arrive close enough to 8am.  Grabbing his leather jacket, he picked up his car keys and left his apartment.

Traffic was light and he arrived at 7.50am.  Dennis waited in his car for five minutes before walking up to apartment nine.  Knocking softly on the door, he waited several minutes before knocking again, this time louder.  The door flew open and a shirtless Penhall ushered him in, motioning for him to talk quietly.  

“Is he awake yet?” Booker asked, keeping the excitement at the anticipation of seeing Tom again out of his voice.

Doug shook his head as he rushed around the apartment randomly picking up items of clothing and sniffing them to check if they were clean.  Settling on a Yankees t-shirt, he pulled it over his head.  “He takes sleeping pills at night so he won’t be awake for another hour or so.  I’ve written you a list, figured it would be easier than trying to explain everything.  Ring the school if you need me, I’ve written down the number.”

Booker took the paper out of Penhall’s hand and carefully read the barely legible handwriting:

1. IMPORTANT:  Give one Oxycontin tablet and one Endep tablet at breakfast (Pills are at back of top cupboard above sink.  Put back in cupboard out of reach)  
2. Will need help with meals but can eat unaided  
3. Doesn’t like to be touched  
4. Mood swings, especially when tired, just go with it  
5. May need shower chair in shower, can shower unaided  
6. May need help dressing but only if asked  
7. May fall asleep, Endep tabs sometimes make him drowsy

Will be home approx 5pm.  School number 555-6824 (Doug Pembroke)

Before leaving, Doug gave Booker a long stare.  “You sure you’re up to this?”

“We’ll be fine,” Dennis answered, his voice sounding more positive than he felt.

Doug snatched up his keys and walked towards the door.  “Okay…well… see you tonight.”

As the door closed, Booker felt a moment of panic but he quickly pushed it aside.  Checking the time, he considered making breakfast for Tom but it was only a little after eight o’clock.  Instead, he flopped onto the couch and flicked on the TV.  Settling on the cartoon channel, he laid back and waited for Tom to wake up.

**

Hearing the bedroom door open, Dennis immediately sat up.  Tom emerged dressed in boxers, t-shirt and an open robe, his hand clutching his walking cane.  Booker tried to suppress a smile when he saw Tom’s sleep-tousled hair.  It reminded him of when he had been teased by Hanson about his own sleep-rumpled appearance.    

Seeing Booker’s face, Tom returned a shy smile and rubbed his hand over his messy hair.  “D-do I have a m-memory of laughing at your hair in the m-morning or is that just m-my imagination?”

Dennis laughed.  “Definitely a memory.  I guess karma’s a bitch huh?”  Standing up he moved towards the kitchen.  “You hungry?  Doug said you need to eat before you have your pills.”

Tom’s progress was slow as he walked over his high-seated chair but Booker noticed that his movements were more fluent than the night before.  His stuttering also seemed less pronounced and Booker wondered if tiredness and stress were a contributing factor.

“T-toast is fine,” Hanson answered as he settled himself into his seat.  “And a coffee if you’re h-having one.”

Booker was pleased to be busy.  He set the toast going and poured two black coffees from the jug Penhall had already brewed.   He noticed that the mugs had larger handles than normal so that Tom could grip them with ease.  When the toaster popped, he buttered two pieces and cut each in half.  Carrying a mug of coffee and the plate of toast, he walked back over to Hanson.  Placing the coffee on the side table next to Hanson’s chair, he handed the plate to his friend.  He returned to the kitchen and took out Tom’s pills.  Shaking one of each into his hand, he picked up his own coffee and returned to the living room.  Sitting at the end of the couch closest to Tom, he leant over and placed the tablets next to the coffee mug.

“Thanks,” Tom said as he nibbled at his toast.  Booker tried hard not to scrutinize his friend but it was difficult not to stare.  He thought Hanson had more color in his face than the night before but there were still dark black smudges under his eyes.  He appeared to manage eating and drinking all right although he had some trouble picking up his tablets.  Dennis made a point of not intervening, Doug had made it quite clear that Tom would ask for help if he needed it and fussing over him only made him irritable.  Sipping his coffee, he looked at the clock and saw that it was only 9.25am.  It would be another seven hours or so before Penhall returned home.  He suddenly wondered what they would do all day.  Doug had not mentioned anything concerning entertainment but then, Tom was not a child and did not really need to be kept amused.  The day would hang heavy though if all they had was the television and somewhat stilted conversation.  Until their relationship began to flourish, it was obvious that there would be uncomfortable silences between them.  Looking out of the window, he saw that the weather was still fine and an idea jumped into his mind.

“So, how ‘bout you get ready and we go out for a drive?”

Tom put down his coffee.  “G-go out?” he asked, his tone uneasy.

“Sure, why not?  It’s a beautiful day, we could go to the beach, maybe grab a bite.  What d’you say?” Booker asked enthusiastically.

Tom’s demeanor changed immediately and he nervously began picking at the fabric on the arm of his chair.  “Um, I d-don’t really go out n-now.”

Dennis frowned.  “You mean never?” he asked incredulously.  He began to wonder if Penhall, for all his advice on not fussing over Tom, had in fact been cosseting Tom too much since he had left the rehabilitation center.  Whilst he understood that sometimes it was easier to give into a person rather than face an argument, he did not believe it was healthy to keep Tom confined within four walls and isolated from human contact.  Being around other people would help Tom face his fears and the more he achieved, the further his confidence would grow.  Hanson was so withdrawn since the rape; he was a shadow of his former self.  Booker was certain that with gentle encouragement, Tom could once again gain back his easy-going personality.

Tom stood up.  “Only f-for doctor appointments,” he replied.

“But that’s crazy!” Booker blurted out.  “Your life hasn’t stopped Tommy, you just need—”

“ _N-need what? **"**_ Tom yelled back angrily.  “To g-get over it, is th-that what you w-were going to say?  D-do you know w-what it’s like t-to b-be held d-down and r-r-raped?  _DO YOU?_   You f-fucking, uncaring _b-bastard!_ ”  Reaching down, he picked up his half full coffee cup and threw it.  The mug hit the wall and shattered on impact, brown liquid staining the cream-colored paint.

Booker remained calm.  He stood up and walked over to the shattered mess.  Squatting down, he carefully picked up the broken remains of Tom’s mug.  He could hear Hanson’s labored breathing and standing back up, he turned to face his friend.  “Feel better now?” he asked.

“Y-you asshole,” Tom replied with a hint of a grin.  

“It’s what I’m known for,” Dennis answered back playfully.  Carrying the broken china to the kitchen, he dropped it into the trash.  Grabbing a wet sponge, he returned and began vigorously scrubbing at the coffee stained wall.  Once clean, he threw away the sponge and returned his attention back to Hanson.  “Now, how ‘bout we try this again.  You go get cleaned up _and_ then we can have a talk about whether or not we go out.  Deal?”

Tom nodded sheepishly.  “Can you m-move the chair into the sh-shower for me?” 

Grinning, Booker bent forward as he swept his arm in front of him in a mock bow.  “Your wish is my command.”

Tom laughed loudly.  “You r-really _are_ an asshole.”

Dennis barely heard the words as the sound of Tom’s laughter resonated in his mind.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: Tom laughed loudly.  “You r-really are an asshole.”_
> 
> Dennis barely heard the words as the sound of Tom’s laughter resonated in his mind.

**Chapter Eleven**

Whilst Tom showered, Booker set to and cleaned up the apartment.  He figured that if he was going to be spending so much time there, he might as well keep it habitable.  He picked up all the clothing in the living room and dumped it in a pile.  He then started on the kitchen.  It appeared that Penhall was in favor of using all the crockery before he even considered doing the washing up.   Satisfied with his efforts, he poured a second cup of coffee and sat down to watch the morning news.

When Hanson emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist, it was already nearly eleven o’clock.  Watching as he walked past and into his room, Booker could clearly see the faint scars on Tom’s back spelling out _WHORE_ and his heart caught in his throat from the pain he felt for his friend.  He blinked back angry tears as his fists clenched into balls.  He wondered if the scars would ever completely fade, or would Tom forever have a constant reminder engraved into his skin, a reminder of exactly when his life had irrevocably changed forever.

Twenty minutes later, Tom’s voice called out.  “Dennis?”

Booker was on his feet in moments.  “You okay Tom?”

Hanson’s voice had an edge of frustration to it.  “C-can you come here?  I n-need some help.” 

Walking into the bedroom, Booker saw Tom sitting on the edge of the bed.  He was dressed in a white t-shirt and jeans but his socks and sneakers were still on the floor by the bed.

“You need a hand with those?” he asked gently, not wanting to make too bigger deal of the situation.

Getting carefully to his feet, Hanson replied shyly, “And this.  I c-can’t do the b-button up.”

Tom’s jeans hung low on his hips, the button undone and the zipper partway down.  “Seems my f-fingers don’t want to w-work.”

Dennis stepped forward and carefully pulled up the zipper and buttoned the top of Tom’s jeans.  Once Tom was again seated, he knelt down and put on Tom’s socks and shoes.  It saddened him that such simple tasks proved such a struggle for his friend but he was secretly grateful for the contact.  As he finished tying the laces, he looked up to see Hanson’s gaze firmly upon him.  He gave a reassuring smile but Tom’s gaze remained fixed, as though in a trance.  

An uneasy feeling began to course through Booker’s body.  “Tommy?” 

Tom shook his head slightly and smiled.  “S-sorry, I was just r-remembering something.”

Sitting back on his heels, Dennis returned the smile.  “Really?  What was that?”

A flush crept up Tom’s face, giving it a healthy glow.  “You... and m-me, in our apartment.”

“Oh?” was all that Booker could manage, his own face beginning to redden.  

“Yeah,” Tom replied quietly.  “You p-pushed the hair out of m-my eyes and—”

“I remember,” Booker said softly, his voice tinged with sadness.  “I’d hit you and you had a bruise.  I asked you if it hurt.”

To Dennis’ surprise, Tom reached out and gently stroked his face.  “When you t-touched me, I felt s-something.”

Booker’s blood pounded in his ears as his breathing became heavy.  This was the confession he had been longing to hear.  It had not been his imagination that during their short time together during the Huntsfield case, Tom really had begun to develop feelings for him.  It was a bittersweet moment.  Life would have been so very different had Tom admitted to his feelings in the beginning.  Dennis was certain their argument at the bar would never have eventuated had there not been pent up sexual tension.  Booker knew he had overreacted to the homosexual taunts and if he could change anything it would be the moment he decided to storm out of the bar and leave Tom alone.  His decision haunted him every day but he had learnt to accept that he could not change the past.  Now the future was proving to be just as much out of his control.  The irony of Tom confessing his feelings whilst still dealing with his own demons was not lost on Booker.  The one positive was that Tom had willingly made contact, albeit just a gentle stroke of his face.  But from everything Doug had told him, it was a huge step for Tom.  Dennis was terrifyingly aware that Tom’s recovery hinged on how he handled the next few moments.  

Closing his eyes, he calmed his breathing and when he opened them, Tom was still watching him intently.  An embarrassed smile touched his lips and averting his eyes, he gently picked up Hanson’s hand in his own.  When Tom did not pull away, he gave the fingers a squeeze.  Feeling Tom return the gesture, Booker boldly laid a hand on Tom’s knee.  Their eyes locked and Booker’s smile faded slightly.  “I wish you’d told me Tommy,” he said sadly.

“I’m t-telling you now,” Tom replied quietly, his eyes seductively drawing Booker in.

Dennis stood up and sat on the bed next to Hanson.  He paused for a moment before brushing the long bangs from his friend’s dark eyes.  “Are you saying... do you want to start a relationship with me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Carefully drawing his hand away, Hanson pulled himself backwards on the bed until he was leaning against the headboard.  Despondency shadowed his face.  “There’s s-some things you sh-should know about m-me Dennis.  I’m d-damaged.”  When Booker began to protest, Hanson put a hand up to stop him.  Pulling his legs up, he rested his chin on his knees as he wrapped his arms around his legs, as though he were protecting himself from some unseen predator.  “There’s so m-much I c-can’t do since I was r-raped.  Things d-don’t... _shit!_   This is s-so fucking hard.”  He gave Booker a look of desperation, as if willing him to understand what he was attempting to say.  “I c-can’t... I c-can’t... _oh fuck!_   I n-never thought th-this would h-happen to _me!_ ”  Burying his face, he began to weep.  Dennis refrained from taking him into his arms, instead, he gently rubbed Tom’s leg.  Hanson’s sobbing subsided and lifting his head, he gave Dennis a watery smile.  “S-sorry.  I’m s-so damn emotional all the t-time.”

“Don’t apologize,” Dennis replied kindly as he reached out and brushed a tear from Tom’s cheek.  With a sigh, he made a difficult decision.  As much as he wanted to continue the conversation, he did not think it was in Tom’s best interests.   “Let’s leave it for now, okay?  We can talk later.”

Tom smiled gratefully as he rubbed his hands over his face to remove the remaining tears.  Swinging his legs over the bed he stood up and picking up his cane, he slowly walked from the room.

**

After Tom’s melt down, Dennis did not push the issue of going out.  They instead spent the rest of the day chatting and watching TV.  Booker made sure to keep the conversation light; sport, current affairs, any topic that was unlikely to cause Tom stress.  The more time he spent with Hanson, the greater his understanding became of how difficult it must be for Penhall.  Doug had no obligation to Tom except that he was his friend.  Hanson’s own mother had abandoned him in his time of need and Penhall had not hesitated to step in and be Tom’s rock.  It was just one more reason why Dennis wanted Doug as his friend.  Loyalty obviously ran deep in Penhall’s blood.

After lunch, Tom had fallen asleep in the chair.  For the first time since they had reunited, Tom looked peaceful.  Dennis spent a few hours silently watching him sleep and marveling at just how beautiful Tom was.  Booker’s body ached for Hanson’s touch and for a brief moment he closed his eyes and allowed his imagination complete freedom to fantasize about how it would feel to have Tom’s body writhing beneath him.  As his cock began to swell, he quickly opened his eyes and pushed all erotic thoughts of Tom from his mind.  It was difficult, especially after Tom’s shocking declaration earlier in the day that he had feelings for him.  His initial elation at hearing the words he had longed to hear had quickly been dampened by Hanson’s break down when trying to confide the extent of his disability.  He wondered exactly what Tom had been trying to tell him.  He knew his decision not to push was the right one but so many unanswered questions hung between them and until everything was out in the open, their relationship would not be able to progress to the next level.  

Booker was pulled from his ruminations by Tom’s moaning.  Although still asleep, Hanson’s body was trembling and a deep frown was etched on his face.  Booker sat mesmerized, as Tom started speaking, his head moving frantically from side to side.  “No…no... no… NO… _NO!_ ”

His final word was a scream that quickly brought Booker to his feet.  Without thinking, he grabbed hold of Tom’s quivering body.  Within seconds, Hanson’s hands were wrapped around his throat, his fingers squeezing tighter and tighter.  Still deeply asleep, Tom’s eyes were open but unseeing as he continued to scream.  “NO! NO! NO!”

“Tommy… st-op!” Booker gasped as he clawed frantically at his throat in an attempt to pull Hanson’s hands away.  

Tom’s eyes came into focus and with a final yell, he pulled away as his eyes widened in terror.   “D-Dennis!  I’m s-sorry!  I didn’t—”

“It’s… okay,” Booker managed to croak before collapsing into a coughing fit.  As his breathing returned to normal Booker became aware of Tom’s frightened expression.  He attempted a reassuring smile but Tom’s expression did not change as he stared transfixed at the red marks around Booker’s neck.  

“Y-y-you… sh-sh-should… g-g-go,” Tom finally replied, his stutter so bad that his face became twisted from the effort.  “Y-y-you’re… n-n-not… s-s-safe…”

“ _STOP!_ ” Dennis yelled, his voice raspy.  “Just fucking STOP!”

When Tom flinched back, Booker immediately regretted his outburst.  Reaching out, he cupped Tom’s face gently in both hands.  “Sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled.  But you’ve got to understand Tommy, no matter what, I’m here to stay, okay.”

Tom’s expression calmed and closing his eyes, he allowed Booker’s fingers to caress his face.  After several moments he opened his eyes and taking Dennis’ hands in his, he leaned forward and gently brushed his lips against Booker’s.

The sound of a key in the door jerked them apart just moments before Penhall entered the apartment and greeted them enthusiastically.  “Hey fellas, what’s up?”  



	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: Tom’s expression calmed and closing his eyes, he allowed Booker’s fingers to caress his face.  After several moments he opened his eyes and taking Dennis’ hands in his, he leaned forward and gently brushed his lips against Booker’s._
> 
> _The sound of a key in the door jerked them apart just moments before Penhall entered the apartment and greeted them enthusiastically.  “Hey fellas, what’s up?”_

**Chapter Twelve**

It was Friday night and Penhall was happy to put the working week behind him.  It had been a relief to come home and see that Hanson and Booker were still on speaking terms.  He did think that they both seemed a little reserved but he put it down to having spent eight hours together in the confines of the apartment.  Booker had declined his offer to stay for dinner and secretly, he was glad.  For the first time in months, he had a date.  Although he had never resented having the responsibility of Tom’s welfare, he did miss his social life.  He loved Tom with all his heart but he needed more.  When he had broached the subject of his dating, Hanson had been enthusiastic.  What Tom had not been so happy about was the idea of Penhall bringing a woman home.  Unfortunately, tonight Doug did not have an option.  Diana had been living with her parents since losing her job a month ago.  In a desperate attempt to keep Tom happy, he had suggested a hotel room for the night.  Diana’s affront at being treated like a hooker had Penhall quickly backpedalling.  He had firmly stood up to Tom’s protestations and asserted his right as a lessee to have whomever he liked over to stay.  Hanson had reluctantly agreed but only if he could stay in his room and not play “third wheel”.  Doug had readily agreed; the last thing he wanted was to have Tom sitting in on his date.

When Diana arrived, Tom had already retired for the evening.  She and Doug spent several hours drinking wine and talking about their lives before their thoughts turned to sex.  Taking Diana’s hand, Doug led her to his bedroom.  Both slightly intoxicated, they playfully removed each other’s clothing, giggling loudly as they fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.  As their arousal escalated, neither one held back.  Their lovemaking was intense and passionate, both oblivious to Tom’s listening ears.  It was only when a loud crash sounded from Tom’s room that Penhall was brought back to reality.  Stopping mid thrust, he turned his head towards the adjoining wall.  “What the hell was that?”

**

The shrill ring of the phone woke Booker from a deep, dream-filled sleep.  His hand thrashed around wildly until it finally connected with the receiver.  “Booker,” he muttered sleepily.

“Jesus Booker, thank fuck you’re home, you need to get here _now_.”

Booker sat up.  “Penhall?” 

“Yes Penhall!  Who the hell do you think it is?  Tom’s gone ballistic, I can’t calm him down and I’m worried he’s going to hurt himself!” Doug yelled down the phone, his voice genuinely panicked.

“I’m on my way,” Booker replied before slamming down the phone.  Pulling on jeans and a t-shirt, he ran bare-foot from the apartment to his car.  With tires squealing, he pulled out from his apartment block and raced down the deserted street.  Within fifteen minutes he was screeching to a stop outside Doug and Tom’s apartment.   Leaping from the car, he sprinted up the steps and along the hallway and past several neighbors who were standing in their open doorways wondering what the ruckus was.  Booker could hear screaming before he even reached the apartment.  He only had to knock once before the door was yanked open and Doug’s terrified face greeted him.

“What the hell happened?” Booker asked, his narrowing when he noticed a frightened Diana.  “And who is that?”

Penhall pulled Dennis inside and closed the door.  A loud crash made them both jump before Doug answered.  “She’s my date.  I don’t know what the hell happened, one minute I’m having sex and the next…” Doug motioned towards Tom bedroom.  “That happened.”

Nodding towards Diana, Booker said, “Take her home, I need to be alone with Tom.”

“Do you think that’s wise?” Doug asked.  “I mean, things could turn ugly pretty damn quick.”

Booker walked up to Tom’s bedroom.  “I’ll be fine, just give me an hour okay?”  He waited until Doug ushered Diana out of the apartment before opening Tom’s door.

The room looked as though a lunatic had ransacked it.  The television lay on its side, the screen smashed to pieces.   Items of clothing covered the floor and knickknacks lay broken around the room.   Tom sat crouched in the corner screaming uncontrollably as he viciously banged his head against the wall, his blood staining the light blue paintwork.  In alarm, Dennis ran forward and pulled Tom away.  Hanson lashed out viciously, striking Dennis in the face.  Without pause, Booker slammed his fist hard against Tom’s jaw.  As Tom fell backwards from the force of the blow, Booker saw his opportunity.  Lunging forward he straddled Tom’s body, forcing his arms above his head.  Hanson struggled frantically to break free, his voice becoming more and more hysterical.  “G-get off m-me!  G-get _off_ m-me!”

As difficult as it was, Dennis remained strong.  “Not until you calm down.”

“Y-you’re h-hurting m-me!” Tom cried, tears streaming down his blood-streaked face.

“Not as much as you’re hurting yourself,” Booker replied, panting from the effort of holding Tom down.  Minutes passed before Tom’s resistance began to fade.  When he stopped struggling completely, Booker spoke again.  “I’m going to let you go but if you try anything I’m going to knock you on your ass so quick you won’t know what’s hit you, okay?”

Tom stared back sullenly, his brown eyes full of hatred.  “I f-fucking h-hate you,” he spat as he once again wrestled to get free.

Firming his grasp on Hanson’s wrists, Booker smiled.  “No you don’t.  Now, are you going to calm down or am I going to have to sit here all night?” 

“F-FUCK YOU!” Tom yelled, his voice dripping with venom.  “You h-have n-no idea w-what I’ve b-been through!”

Sadness filled Dennis’s eyes.  “You’re right Tommy, I don’t.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t sympathize.  I want to be able to help you, but you’ve got to let me.”

Minutes passed before Tom spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.  “Th-they t-took everyth-thing from m-me.”

Releasing his grip, Booker stood up.  He offered his hand to Tom, who allowed Booker to help him to his feet.  Keeping hold of his hand, Booker gave his friend’s fingers a gentle squeeze.  “What did they take from you Tommy?”

Tom’s face flushed red as he averted his eyes.  Booker gently tilted Tom’s chin up so they were once again making eye contact.  “Talk to me,” he pleaded.  Another long silence stretched out between them.  Booker eventually turned away and left the bedroom.  He returned with a wet washcloth and gently cleaned up Tom’s bloodied face.  Throwing the cloth on the floor, he placed his hands on Tom’s shoulders.  “Tell me what happened tonight.”

Tom swallowed deeply before replying.  “I c-could hear th-them, D-Doug and his d-date.”

When Tom did not continue, Booker prompted him.  “And?”

Tom again averted his eyes.  This time Booker did not intervene, instead he waited patiently for Tom to continue.

“Hearing th-them made m-me so f-fucking angry.  I t-try so f-fucking hard b-but I j-just c-can’t… I c-can’t… I c-can’t feel _anyth-thing!_ ” Tom’s final word was a strangled sob.

Realization dawned on Booker immediately.  Tom was impotent.  That was why he had become so hysterical when he heard Penhall and his date noisily making love in the room next door; it reminded Tom of everything he was missing. Dennis could not imagine going a year without an orgasm, it was no wonder Hanson was so upset.  “Oh geez Tommy,” he whispered, pulling Hanson close.  “I’m so fucking sorry.  But just because you haven’t been able to… you know… it doesn’t mean it will be like that forever.”

As Tom leaned against his chest, Booker could hear his rapid breathing.  Slowly Tom lifted his head and as their eyes met, Dennis could see the desperation.  “M-make me f-feel again D-Dennis, p-please!” Tom pleaded, as silent tears streamed down his beautiful face.

Dennis’ voice was shaky.  “Tommy, I don’t know if that’s such a good—”

“ _P-PLEASE!_ ” Tom begged, his anguished face flushed from crying.

Making a snap decision, Booker carefully maneuvered Tom so his back was against the wall.  Taking Tom’s face in his hands, Booker smiled lovingly.  He started slowly by kissing Tom’s face. Moving upwards, he pressed his mouth to Tom’s closed lids, feeling the long lashes brushing against his lower lip.  Tom made a faint sound, half way between a groan and a sigh.  It was a sign of encouragement for Booker.  He turned Tom’s face gently to one side and nibbled at his ear. Running the tip of his tongue around the ridges, he gently sucked on the earlobe.   Pulling away briefly, his hands found the bottom of Tom’s t-shirt and lifting it over his head, he tossed it to the floor.  His hands traveled down Tom’s torso, stopping momentarily to gently caress his nipples before continuing their journey.  His mouth found Hanson’s and their kiss was deep and passionate, their tongues clashing in urgent need as Dennis’ hands reached their final destination.  Gentle fingers stroked at Tom’s cock, patiently bringing it to life.  Tom moaned deeply into Booker’s mouth as his arousal intensified.  Booker broke away from the kiss, his lips finding Tom’s ear.  “Do you want me to make you come, baby?” he murmured seductively, as his tongue once again traced patterns around his ear.

“Y-yes,” Tom breathed, his body trembling in anticipation.

Booker dropped to his knees.  Hooking his thumbs into Tom’s waistband, he slowly removed his boxers.  Placing his hands on Tom’s narrow hips, his tongue found Hanson’s cock and he slowly licked at the tip of his engorged head, stopping momentarily to kiss the tip.  He felt Tom’s body shudder beneath his hands as he licked from root to tip, taking time to swirl his tongue around the weeping head.  Sensing that it would not take much to bring him to climax, he briefly raised his eyes to meet Tom’s gaze.  Hanson’s eyes were wide, his pupils fully dilated.  With a grin, Booker bowed his head and taking Tom’s cock into his mouth, he sucked deeply on the engorged member.  With a cry of ecstasy, Tom’s hands grabbed at Booker’s hair, pulling him forward so his cock rammed deep into Booker’s throat.  Skillfully preventing the gag reflex, Booker allowed access as Tom’s hips trust back and forth as he violently fucked Booker’s mouth.  As his orgasm hit, Tom cried out Dennis’ name, his legs buckling as his hot semen hit the back of Booker’s throat.  Dennis swallowed deeply, delighting in tasting Tom’s very essence.  He lapped at Tom’s softening cock until he heard a deep sigh of satisfaction.  With one final lick, his hands guided Tom’s body down the wall to a sitting position.  Leaning in, Booker kissed him tenderly for several minutes before finally pulling away.

“Better?” he asked, as his thumb gently stroked Tom’s smooth cheek.

“Mmm, much better,” Tom replied, his voice tranquil and without a hint of a stutter.  “It’s been so long.”  Leaning forward, he kissed Booker adoringly.

The sound of the apartment door slamming pulled them apart.  “Shit!” Booker swore, standing up quickly.  “That’s Penhall.”  Reaching down, he offered Tom his hand.  When Tom stood up he once again kissed Booker affectionately.  

With a quiet laugh, Dennis pulled away and helped Tom over to the bed.  “C’mon, get some sleep, I need to talk to Doug.”

“You’ll come back?” Tom asked anxiously.

“Tom, when are you going to get it into your thick head that I’m here to stay, huh?” Booker replied somewhat wearily.

Smiling, Tom pulled up the covers and closing his eyes, he fell into a blissful slumber.  



	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: With a quiet laugh, Dennis pulled away and helped Tom over to the bed.  “C’mon, get some sleep, I need to talk to Doug.”_
> 
> _“You’ll come back?” Tom asked anxiously._
> 
> _“Tom, when are you going to get it into your thick head that I’m here to stay, huh?” Booker replied somewhat wearily._
> 
> _Smiling, Tom pulled up the covers and closing his eyes, he fell into a blissful slumber._

**Chapter Thirteen**

Doug accosted Dennis as soon as he entered the living room.  “Is he okay?” he asked worriedly.

Closing the bedroom door, Booker motioned for Penhall to sit down.  “He’s fine.  He’s sleeping.”

Rubbing his hands over his eyes, Doug let out a heavy sigh of relief.  “Did he tell you why he lost it?” he asked.  “I mean, should I be calling the psychologist?  ‘Cause I’ve gotta tell you, what happened tonight was kind of scary.”

“I don’t know about the psychologist, you’ll need to talk to Tom about that,” Booker answered carefully.  “But as to tonight, he got pretty frustrated when he heard you and what’s-her-name.”

Doug’s face flushed with embarrassment.  “Diana… and he could hear us?  Jesus, I had no idea.”  

“Yeah,” Booker replied.  “That’s why he went crazy.  Since the attack he hasn’t been able to… well, you know.”

Doug stared back blankly.  “Huh? I don’t underst—”  When realization hit, his eyes widened in surprise.  “Oh!” Doug exclaimed, “Really?”

Booker nodded.  “Yeah, so you can imagine how he felt when he could hear you banging away at your date.”

Doug nodded in affirmation.  “So how did you calm him down?  I couldn’t get anywhere near him.”

Booker stayed silent.  He was unsure whether to confide in Doug about his sexual encounter with Tom.  In his heart, he was certain that he had not taken advantage of Tom but he was not a hundred percent sure that Penhall would see it the same way.  Tom had begged him for help but after Penhall’s mention of a psychologist, Booker began to wonder how healthy Tom’s mental state really was. However, if Booker wanted his relationship with Tom to work he needed to have Doug on his side.  Keeping secrets would only end up causing problems later on.  It was therefore with some apprehension, that he replied, “He needed help finding release, so I… helped him.”

Doug’s jaw tightened and his voice turned frosty.  “You’re kidding me right?”

It was Booker’s turn to show irritation.  “No, I’m not kidding you and why do you keep running so hot and cold?  One minute you think I’m the best thing for Tom and the next—”

“I didn’t expect you to go in and take advantage of him!” Doug interrupted angrily.  “He’s on the edge Booker and I’ve spent the last few months keeping him from tipping over.  How dare you fucking do that to him!”

“He wanted it!” Booker shouted.  But as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he desperately wished he could take them back.

“He _wanted_ it?” Doug spat.  “Are you fucking serious?”

Booker dragged his fingers through his dark hair in frustration.  “That’s not what I meant.  Doug, you didn’t see him, he was pleading with me to help him feel something.  I don’t think I’ve hurt him, if anything, I think I helped him.  This has been hanging over him like a black cloud since the rape.  He honestly thought he’d never be able to _have_ sex again.  Now he knows he can and you know what? Afterwards, he was so calm he didn’t stutter once.”

“So that makes it all okay does it?” asked Doug sarcastically.  “Thanks for your help _Doctor_ Booker.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Doug stop being so childish!” Dennis replied irritably.  “Your problem is that you can’t stand the thought that Tom might fancy men.  Does it make you uncomfortable because it threatens your own masculinity?”

“Not men,” Doug replied quietly.  “Just you.  He never showed any interest until—”

“Until I pressured him?” Dennis replied furiously.  “Is that really what you think I did?  You know Tom better than anyone; do you really believe I have that much power over him?”

Doug sighed wearily, his rage waning.  “No… I don’t know.  Geez Booker, I just want Tom to be happy.”

“Then we have something in common,” Dennis stated quietly.  “You know what he means to me, I love him.”

The fight over, Doug smiled resignedly.  “I know you do, it’s just… oh forget it.  If this is what makes Tom happy then I’m fine with it.”

“Good,” Booker replied, standing up and walking over to the Hanson’s bedroom.  As he opened the door, he looked back over his shoulder.  “Because tonight, I’m spending the night with Tom.”  Not waiting for a reply, he disappeared into Tom’s room, closing the door firmly behind him.  Climbing into bed, he was careful not to awaken the motionless figure beside him.  Moving in close, he draped a protective arm around Tom’s slim waist.  A soft murmur was the only indication that Hanson was aware that he had returned.  Sighing contentedly, Booker relaxed his body and fell asleep.

**

Dennis awoke to Tom tenderly kissing his lips.  With a smile, he rolled over to face his bedmate.  “Is there something you want?” he asked playfully, his fingers tracing a ring around Tom’s nipple.

“Yeah,” Tom breathed, his brown eyes hooded with longing.  “I’ve got s-some catching up t-to do.”

Grinning happily, Booker pulled Tom in close.  “Whatever you want baby,” he said, moaning quietly.  Their mouths met and they kissed passionately.  Booker’s cock swelled at the feel of Tom’s tongue dancing with his own and he quickly pulled away.

Hanson’s eyes narrowed slightly.  “Wh-what’s wrong?” he asked, his bottom lip protruding into a soft pout.

With a devilish grin, Booker leaned forward and sucked lovingly on the protruding flesh.  “Nothing,” he breathed, carefully keeping their bodies apart.

Tom moved his head away.  “Yes th-there is.  T-tell me what’s wrong.”

Dennis groaned in frustration.  “It’s nothing Tommy, honest.”  But his statement was a lie.  There was plenty wrong and it was only now that Dennis was beginning to become aware of it.  Tom was a victim of rape, prior to which, he had never been with another man.  How would Tom react when he felt Booker’s erect cock pushing against him?  Not that Dennis planned to have sex with Tom.  As much as he longed to thrust his cock deep into Tom’s accommodating body, he was realistic enough to understand that reaching that point would take time.  But just kissing Tom was enough for his body to react.  His cock was fully erect and the last thing he wanted to do was scare Tom with his arousal.  

Deciding on the direct approach, he ran his hand lovingly through Tom’s hair.  “You get that you’re turning me on right?” he asked, his black eyes desperately searching Tom’s face.  

A slow smile spread over Tom’s face.  “I’m a b-big boy Dennis.  I’ve had the s-sex talk.”

Dropping his gaze to Hanson’s cock, Booker smiled cheekily.  “Yes you are.”  Although Tom laughed, Booker’s voice quickly sobered.  “But seriously, this is different Tom.”

Tom laid his hand on Booker’s smooth chest. He slowly moved the tips of his fingers downwards and as Dennis drew in a deep breath, Tom released him from the confines of his boxers and wrapping his fingers around his swollen cock, he tugged it gently.  “Is it ‘c-cause of this?” Tom asked, his eyes dancing with mischief.  “Because, I’ve s-seen one before.”

Booker’s head fell backwards onto the pillow and his eyes closed from the pleasure of Tom’s hand finally touching him so intimately.  “Jesus Tommy!” he cried out.  “That feels… so… fucking… good!”

Tom’s hand dropped lower and he gently fondled Dennis’ testicles.  “Do you l-like that?” he murmured softly as his lips pressed against Dennis’ neck.  “Tell m-me what you like.”

“ _Harder!_ ” Booker begged as he shifted Tom’s hand back to his throbbing cock.  “Pull it harder!”

Taking him into his hand Tom worked at jerking Dennis off.  Hearing Booker’s passion filled cries, Tom’s own cock swelled.  His pace sped up as he felt his own orgasm rising.  To see Booker laying there with his eyes closed and his face a picture of pure ecstasy was one of the most erotic sights Tom had ever witnessed.  As Booker’s climax hit, semen covered Hanson’s fingers and reaching down with his free hand, he took his own cock to hand and with a few short tugs, his own pleasure released.  

Rolling over, Booker pulled Tom into a tight embrace.  They lay together, panting heavily from the exertion of their orgasms.  Dennis stroked the red mark on Tom’s chin from where his fist had connected the night before.  “Does it hurt?” he asked.

Tom’s laughter filled the room.  “Maybe if you s-stopped hitting me you wouldn’t have to k-keep asking me that.”  A thunderous banging on the door had both their heads rising up in alarm.  When Penhall’s voice rang out they tensed, but upon hearing his words, they collapsed giggling back onto the pillow.

“Hey, keep it down you two, sheesh.”

Booker smiled inwardly, he knew it was Doug’s way of letting them know that everything was all right.   



	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> __
> 
> Previously: Rolling over, Booker pulled Tom into a tight embrace.  They lay together, panting heavily from the exertion of their orgasms.  Dennis stroked the red mark on Tom’s chin from where his fist had connected the night before.  “Does it hurt?” he asked.
> 
> __Tom’s laughter filled the room.  “Maybe if you s-stopped hitting me you wouldn’t have to k-keep asking me that.”  A thunderous banging on the door had both their heads rising up in alarm.  When Penhall’s voice rang out they tensed, but upon hearing his words, they collapsed giggling back onto the pillow.
> 
> _“Hey, keep it down you two, sheesh.”_
> 
> Booker smiled inwardly, he knew it was Doug’s way of letting them know that everything was all right.

**Chapter Fourteen**

Lying in bed amongst the tangled sheets, Dennis watched Tom sleep.  He was truly captivated by Tom’s beauty and for the hundredth time he marveled at how fortunate he was to have someone so exquisite in his life.  It was not only Tom’s good looks that attracted him, it was Tom the package.  Intelligent, funny, diligent and loyal, Hanson had all the qualities Booker admired in a partner.  Tom’s prettiness was just an added bonus.  Knowing that Tom was comfortable with their relationship was a load off his mind.  However, he was still reluctant to take their relationship to the next level.  His mind kept mulling over Doug’s earlier statement about Tom’s mental health and he wondered if he should consult the psychologist.  The last thing he wanted to do was cause Tom more pain and suffering.

Scratching at his head, he stretched out his body and yawned.  It was after midday and it did not appear that Tom was waking up anytime soon.  With a reluctant sigh, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up.  He pulled on his jeans and t-shirt and silently crept from the room.

Hearing the bedroom door open, Doug twisted his head around.  “Afternoon,” he said pointedly, although a small smile played on his lips.  “Sleep well?”

A wide grin spread across Dennis’ face.  “Yep.  Do you mind if I make something to eat?”

“Help yourself,” Penhall replied, returning to his baseball game. 

Dennis set to and several minutes later, he returned with toast and coffee in hand.  Sitting on the couch, he ate silently, unsure how to broach the subject of Tom’s mental state with Penhall.  He waited until Doug took a bathroom break and when he returned, he finally spoke.  “Um Doug, can I talk to you about something?”

Reaching for the remote, Penhall muted the television.  “Sure Booker, what’s on your mind?”

Rubbing a hand over his chin, Dennis continued.  “It’s about Tom.  Does he still see a psychologist?”

“Only once a month now,” Doug replied, keeping his tone hushed incase Hanson entered the room.  “Does that bother you?”

Shaking his head, Dennis replied, “No, of course not.  It’s just… well do you think I should talk to him about our relationship?”

“It’s a her… and maybe,” Doug answered.  “But you should speak to Tom about it first.”

“That’s the problem,” Booker replied with a hint of uneasiness.  “I don’t want to upset him.”

Penhall exhaled loudly.  “Booker, you’re going to upset him from time to time, that’s what happens in relationships.  You can’t keep him protected from everything.”

“Yeah right,” Dennis replied sarcastically.  “This from the man that’s been protecting him since day one.”

Doug stood up and walked into the kitchen.  He poured himself a cup of coffee before returning.  “That’s different, he’s my best friend not my lover, our relationship will never be as intense or complex as yours.”

Sipping at his coffee, Booker absorbed what Doug had said.  It was true, his relationship with Hanson _was_ different and there were certain responsibilities that he was going to have to step up to.  He could not expect to shield Tom from everything in life and most importantly, he wanted Tom to be able to spread his wings and again be the confident, laid-back man that he had once been.  If it were just Tom’s disabilities that he had to contend with, Booker knew he would be able to cope with little intervention.  But the rape made everything so much more complicated.  Dennis had never really had dealings with a rape victim before and he worried about Hanson’s psychological state where sex was concerned.  How would Tom feel when he felt Booker’s cock pushing against him, would the memories of his rape resurface?  He tried to imagine how _he_ would feel but it was impossible to know.  Up until now, he and Tom had not discussed what had actually happened on the night he had left the bar alone.  Suddenly, he wondered if Tom had talked about it with Penhall.

“Doug?” he asked, his tone delicate.  “Has Tom spoken to you about the rape?”

A look of wretchedness washed over Doug’s face.  “Not in detail,” he replied.  “It was more along the lines of a police interview.  There were three of them, they hit him over the head, bundled him into a van, beat him, raped him and dumped him in the park.  He couldn’t remember faces, or so he said.  I don’t know, that was a while ago and he’s had the nightmares since then.  Maybe he remembers more.”

“Do you think I should talk to him about it?” Dennis asked.

Doug’s reply was infuriatingly noncommittal.  “Do _you_ think you should?” 

“Fucking hell Penhall, can you give me a little help here!” Dennis exclaimed.  “I’m asking your advice.  You’ve been with him the longest, you know how he feels.  Just give me something to work with.”

“Okay,” Doug replied.  “How about I tell you what I did.  I made mistakes.  I did things that Tom didn’t like and I learnt from them and that Booker, is all you can do.”  Standing up, Doug grabbed his coat and headed for the door.  “I’m going out for a while, give you time to think about things.”

As the door closed, Booker let out a loud groan and lying back on the couch, he drew up his knees and threw his arm over his eyes.  He was so deep in thought that he did not hear Hanson enter the room.  Feeling the end of the couch sag, he lowered his arm.

“W-what are you th-thinking about?” Tom asked apprehensively.  “Is it about m-me?”

Straightening his legs, Booker pulled Hanson down onto his chest.  He gently stroked Tom’s hair whilst he thought about what to say.

“Dennis?” Tom pressed.  “Tell m-me.”

Booker sat up, forcing Tom into a sitting position next to him.  “Okay, so… it’s best to be honest right?”

Tom nodded in agreement.

Taking Hanson’s hand in his, Booker continued.  “I want to know what happened that night, the night you were attacked.”

Tom immediately pulled his hand away, his face troubled.  “W-why?” he asked.

“Because I want to make love to you Tommy and I don’t think I can whilst this thing is hanging over us!” Booker’s voice was slightly raised, his face agitated.  

Tom’s eyes widened and his body tensed.  “You d-don’t w-want to m-make love t-to me b-because I w-was r-raped?” he stuttered incredulously.  

Horrified, Booker pulled Tom into his arms and held him close.  “No!  That’s not what I mean at all.  I want to make love to you more than anything but I’m terrified of how you’ll react when you feel me… I don’t want to hurt you Tom, not physically and sure as hell not emotionally.”

“Oh,” was Tom’s reply.  Booker waited patiently for him to continue.  “Let m-me get c-cleaned up first, okay?”

“Okay,” Dennis replied, kissing Tom tenderly.  “But then we talk.”

Tom nodded and using his cane, he pulled himself to his feet and headed towards the bathroom.  By the time he emerged half an hour later, Booker had made scrambled eggs and coffee and Tom’s tablets sat on the table next to a glass of water.  After making sure he was comfortable, Booker said, “Can you manage, ‘cause I’d like to take a shower too.”

Tom nodded, his mouth full of food.  For the first time since he could remember, he was actually hungry.  He was beginning to feel that he had reached a turning point in his recovery.  It had been a long time coming but he could finally see a bright, shining light at the end of a long, dark tunnel and that light was Booker.  It still amazed him that he had fallen for someone who not too long ago, he had despised and what was even more incredulous was that that person was a man.  He smiled to himself.  Love was a funny thing.  

He did however, feel a little apprehensive about telling Booker about the rape as he had not even told his therapist the full story.  But he trusted Dennis implicitly and now that he had asked, Tom felt he had no choice but to divulge everything he could remember about that fateful night a year ago.  It would not be easy but if by doing so his and Dennis’ relationship could move forward, then Hanson was willing to relive the trauma one last time.  The shame he felt was still very raw but he knew Booker did not see him differently because of the rape and that was reassuring.  He was lucky to have people like Booker and Penhall in his life.  He missed his mother terribly but he had resigned himself to living a life without her.  The bible she had sent to the hospital lay in a drawer by his bed but he felt no desire to take it out and read it.  He had been forced to go to church when he was a boy but in his teens, he had rebelled against it.   It had hurt his Mom terribly at the time but no amount of pleading could get Hanson to change his mind.  Now that she had turned her back on him completely his feelings about religion were even more defiant.  If his mother’s God despised same sex relationships then Tom despised his mother’s God.  Even though he himself could not explain how his sexual preference had changed seemingly overnight, he knew in his heart that his feelings for Booker were real.  If God could not see love for the magical, unprejudiced emotion that it was then that was too bad.  It was not something Tom would lose any sleep over.

The bathroom door opened and a waft of steam drifted into the living room.  Booker emerged rubbing his hair with a towel.  After a few moments, he threw the towel back into the bathroom and ran his fingers through his damp hair in an attempt to tame it.  Tom felt his heart miss a beat as he watched his lover.  Feeling his gaze, Dennis turned his head and gave Tom a captivating smile.  “Miss me?” he asked.

“Maybe,” Tom replied playfully but his mood suddenly changed and his expression became somber.  “Sit d-down Dennis, it’s time f-for that t-talk.”

“Okay,” Booker replied, taking a seat at the table next to Tom and picking up his hand.  Staring deep into Tom’s eyes, he reached out a hand and stroked his face tenderly.  “I love you,” he murmured softly.

Tears filled Hanson’s eyes but he did not return the sentiment.  “I know,” was all he said before taking a deep breath and letting all that he had kept inside for so long, finally spill out.  



	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: “Maybe,” Tom replied playfully but his mood suddenly changed and his expression became somber.  “Sit d-down Dennis, it’s time f-for that t-talk.”_
> 
> _“Okay,” Booker replied, taking a seat at the table next to Tom and picking up his hand.  Staring deep into Tom’s eyes, he reached out a hand and stroked his face tenderly.  “I love you,” he murmured softly._
> 
> _Tears filled Hanson’s eyes but he did not return the sentiment.  “I know,” was all he said before taking a deep breath and letting all that he had kept inside for so long, finally spill out._

**Chapter Fifteen**

The emotional and physical effort of speaking about the rape had taken its toll on Tom and he had taken himself to bed.  Doug had arrived home to find Booker sitting with his head in his hands, a cold cup of coffee sitting forgotten on the table next to him.  

Doug cleared his throat to announce his presence and Booker looked up, a startled expression on his face.  He relaxed when he saw who it was.  “Hey Doug,” he said wearily.  “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Pulling up a chair, Penhall sat down opposite Booker.  “By the look on your face I’m guessing you and Tom had the talk.”

“Yeah,” Dennis sighed.  “I’m wishing now that I’d never asked.  I can’t get the imagery out of my head.”

Getting up and going into the kitchen, Doug grabbed two beers from the fridge and sitting back down he handed one to Dennis.  “Yeah, it’s brutal.  I understand if you want to protect Tom’s privacy but anything new that he’s remembered may help with the investigation.”

“What investigation?” Booker replied tiredly.  “Damn it Doug, it’s been twelve months and there’s not one single lead.  These bastards are never going to be brought to justice but Tom ends up with a life sentence.  It’s not fucking fair!”

“No, it’s not fair,” Penhall answered sadly.  “But now that Tom’s opened up maybe it will give us something new.”

Calming himself down, Dennis knew that Doug was right.  He had asked Tom if he could share their conversation with Doug and Tom had readily agreed as long as he did not have to be the one to talk about it again.  Now that he had spoken honestly about the rape, he had told Booker that he did not want to keep going over what had happened.   He wanted to bury the details once again deep into the recesses of his mind.  To have them at the forefront was just too painful.  He felt ready to start the healing process, especially now that he had Booker by his side.  Twelve months of his life had been cruelly taken from him and he explained how he now wanted to start living again.  He longed to feel like Tom Hanson rather than only ever being defined as a victim of rape.  Once that happened, he told Dennis, he knew his healing journey would be at an end.

As Booker explained all of this to him, Penhall’s heart swelled with pride.  He had always known that Tom had the strength to survive all that had happened to him; it had just taken longer than anyone had expected.  He supposed that Booker’s influence over the last few days had played a big part in Tom’s decision to face up to his demons and for that he was grateful.  Now that Hanson was beginning to move forward, Penhall hoped that it would not take too long for the old happy Tom to re-emerge.  Having seen his friend so miserable for so long had taken a toll on Doug and he longed for some peace in Hanson’s life.

Grabbing a pen, paper and a couple of beers from the kitchen, Doug sat back down and after handing Booker his drink, he poised his pen.  “Okay, let’s go,” he said quietly.

Booker spoke slowly and concisely, pausing on occasion to remember Tom’s exact words before again continuing.  Tom had left the bar approximately forty minutes after Booker.  As he walked through the parking lot, two men had jumped from a white van and one of them had hit him over the head.  Dazed, Tom had been unable to put up much resistance as he was dragged into the back of the van and restrained.  They had driven a short distance before the driver pulled over and climbed into the back to join his friends.  With his hands tied behind his back, Tom had struggled to break free but one of his attackers set upon him with a tire iron, beating him savagely around the head and shoulders until he passed out.  He did not know how long he had been out but when he came to, he was already naked.  _“Hello sleeping beauty,”_ one of the men had said as he pulled Tom’s tethered arms up so viciously he had dislocated Tom’s shoulder.  _“Now that you’re awake, the fun begins… faggot.”_   He had been lifted up and his body had been thrown over what Tom thought was a wooden crate.  He had felt a man behind him and had desperately tried to move away but the two other men had held him down from either side, one of them again yanking up his arms to prevent him from struggling.  

Dennis stopped speaking for a moment as he took a long swig of his beer before continuing by saying that Tom had not described the rape in detail.  He had confirmed that all three men had taken a turn to violate him, each one more brutal than the last.  It had been during the final rape that the carving of the word _WHORE_ into his back had occurred.  When the rapes were over, the beatings had resumed, except this time he had been hit all over his body until he fell unconscious from the pain and injury.  He had no recollection of how long he had been in the van or when he was dumped at the park.  He did remember that two of the men were American and he thought the driver could be Hispanic.  He claimed to have no memory of their faces although he did know that they had all been clean-shaven.  

Penhall put down his pen and paper.  “It’s not much but there are details that we didn’t have before, the van color and the possibility that one of the men is Hispanic.”

Booker stood up, his look despondent.  “Who are we kidding Doug, the case is a year old, none of this is going to make a difference.”

Ever the optimist, Doug replied.  “We don’t know that Booker.” 

“Yeah well, I’m not getting my hopes up and neither should Tom,” Booker responded somewhat wearily.  “Look, I need to get out for a while, this is doing my head in and I need to go home and get some clothes…”  Looking down at his feet, a small smile passed over his lips.  “…and shoes.  If Tom wakes up, tell him I’ll be back around eight.”

Doug stood up and reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his wallet.  Unzipping the back compartment, he pulled out a spare key and handed it to Booker.  “Here, you might as well be able to come and go as you please.”

Genuinely touched by the gesture, Dennis smiled.  “Thanks Doug,” he said sincerely and turning away, he exited the apartment.

**

Having packed boxers, t-shirts, jeans and socks into a rucksack along with various toiletry items, Dennis pulled on socks and boots and left his home.  He threw his bag into the passenger seat of his car and locked the door.  He headed on foot to the bustling esplanade overlooking the sea front.  He walked for over two hours, the feel of the cool breeze on his face helping to clear his mind of the haunting images of Tom’s rape.  He longed to take Tom into his arms and eradicate forever the violence of his assault by showing him how sensual and thrilling having a male as a lover could be.  But he was determined to let Tom set the pace in their relationship, as pushing him too hard at this point could prove disastrous.

Walking back to his car, Dennis checked his watch.  It was a little after eight so he quickened his pace.  Hopping into his car he drove to Doug and Tom’s in record time, all the while aware that he was breaking the speed limit.  Pulling up outside, he snatched up his bag and ran up the stairs and into the building.  Arriving at their door he was about to knock when he remembered the key he had been given.  Pulling it out of his wallet, he unlocked the door and entered his second home.

Doug and Tom sat on the couch in the living room watching television.  A pizza box sat between them and another was on the coffee table.  It was the first time Dennis had seen Tom out of his usual chair.  His legs were curled beneath him and he lay propped against a pillow.  Booker thought he looked tired; the dark smudges under his eyes seemed more prominent than usual.    

Doug stood up and moved to Hanson’s usual chair, leaving the couch for Tom and Dennis.  He motioned towards the pizza.  “Grab a slice, it’s just arrived.”

Booker sat next to Tom and took a piece of pizza from the box sitting between them.  Tom’s eyes remained glued to the television and sensing the tension, Doug stood up and grabbing several slices of pizza he said, “I think I’ll watch TV in my room.  See you tomorrow.”  

When Booker heard Doug’s bedroom door close he turned to face Hanson.  “Is everything okay Tommy?” he asked, reaching out to brush Tom’s hair from his eyes.

Tom pulled away, his voice irritable.  “C-can’t you k-keep your hands off m-me for f-five minutes?”

Hurt, Booker snatched his hand back and laid it in his lap.  “Sorry,” he muttered apologetically.  His appetite gone, he threw the slice of pizza back into the box.

Hanson’s expression softened.  “No, _I’m_ s-sorry.”

“Do you want me to go?” Booker asked, not wanting to but willing to do anything to appease Hanson.

“No,” Tom replied softly.  Dropping the pizza box to the floor he moved along the couch and picking up Booker’s arm, he draped it across his shoulders and leaned into Dennis’ chest, his legs curled beneath him.  Dennis’ fingers tilted up Tom’s chin and he kissed him lightly.  

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Booker asked lovingly.

Tom’s dark eyes clouded over.  “I c-can’t get the m-memories out of m-my head.”

Booker felt a pang of guilt.  It was because of him that Tom had relived the horror of his attack.  He should have left it alone instead of picking at the healing scab and making it bleed.  

As he struggled to find the right words of comfort, Tom’s quiet voice interrupted his thoughts.  “Make m-me forget.”

“Oh Tommy,” Booker whispered, his eyes sparkling with devotion.   He maneuvered Hanson backwards so that he was lying on the couch.  He slowly took off Tom’s shoes and socks and tossed them to the floor.  Leaning over, he popped the button of Tom’s jeans and carefully pulled down the zipper.  He could feel Tom’s eyes watching him and looking up he smiled before leaning in and kissing him deeply.  Breaking away, he tugged at Tom’s jeans.  Hanson lifted his hips so that his denims could be pulled free.  Tom’s boxers were next to be added to the pile of clothing now lying on the floor.  Dennis moaned with pleasure at the sight before him and bending forward he swirled his tongue around Tom’s cockhead.  He instantly felt Hanson’s cock twitch to life and using his hand to caress his testicles he licked at Tom’s growing erection.  

“Suck me,” Tom breathed heavily, his voice dripping with arousal.  

Grinning, Booker took Tom into his mouth.  Hanson’s hands tangled in Booker’s hair and he made soft mewing sounds of pleasure as Dennis sucked him off.  As his arousal intensified, Tom’s hips thrust up and down, forcing his cock deeper into Booker’s mouth.  Dennis’ fingers fumbled at his own zipper and releasing his cock, he worked his hand up and down in a frenzy of excitement.  Tom’s moaning became more urgent and crying out, he spilled his seed deep into Booker’s throat.  With a yelp of pleasure, Dennis’ own orgasm hit and his hand soon became sticky from his own ejaculation.  Tom’s hands released their grip and Dennis sat up as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.  

Tom’s eyes were tranquil and his face relaxed.  To Booker's surprise, Tom sat up and taking Dennis’ sticky fingers, he lovingly licked them clean, one by one, his eyes never leaving Booker’s face.

Seeing Dennis’ incredulous expression, Tom grinned shyly before whispering, “I love you too.”   



	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: With a yelp of pleasure, Dennis’ own orgasm hit and his hand soon became sticky from his own ejaculation.  Tom’s hands released their grip and Dennis sat up as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand._
> 
> _Tom’s eyes were tranquil and his face relaxed.  To Booker's surprise, Tom sat up and taking Dennis’ sticky fingers, he lovingly licked them clean, one by one, his eyes never leaving Booker’s face._
> 
> _Seeing Dennis’ incredulous expression, Tom grinned shyly before whispering, “I love you too.”_

**Chapter Sixteen**

Days slowly turned into weeks and Tom and Dennis’ relationship continued to flourish.  Dennis had returned to work, taking on cases that required few man-hours but which paid well.  Tom appeared happy to now be left alone for longer periods and as his confidence grew, his mood swings became less apparent. He still however, refused to leave the apartment except for his therapy sessions and his stuttering still caused him frustration, which on occasion would bring about sudden violent outbursts.  Although Dennis constantly assured him that his speech was not an issue, it was the one thing that still made Tom self-conscious.  He refused to answer the phone when it rang or speak to anyone other than Penhall, Booker and his therapist.  Captain Fuller had called in for a visit and Tom had remained stubbornly mute throughout his hour-long stay.  

However, when Tom reached an orgasm his stutter disappeared completely, which made Booker believe that relaxation was the answer.  He therefore decided that for Tom to move on with his recovery, he needed to face up to his fears and once faced and conquered, he would finally find peace and tranquility in his life.

Having spent the morning at his office finalizing a case, Booker closed the file on his desk and looked at the clock.  It was a little after two and he suddenly felt hungry.  He considered walking across the road and grabbing a burger from Greasy Joe’s but he felt a little guilty at having left Tom alone for so long.  Penhall was on surveillance and had started work in the early hours of the morning.  Booker had left the apartment whilst Tom was still asleep but had gone back two hours later to prepare breakfast. That had been five hours ago and even though he had left a sandwich for Tom’s lunch he wondered if he too were hungry.  Deciding that he did not need an excuse to go home early, he locked his office and drove the short distance to Tom’s apartment.

Opening the door, he found Tom doing what he did all day every day; lying on the couch watching television.  “Hey beautiful,” he sang out as he tossed his keys onto the cabinet by the door.  Making his way over to the couch, he bent down to give Tom a kiss.  “Whatcha doing?”

“What’s it l-look l-like?” Tom replied irritably, moving his head so that Dennis’ lips missed his own.

Careful not to show his annoyance, Booker sat down on the edge of the couch.  “What’s wrong?” he asked patiently.

“Nothing,” Tom replied childishly, his bottom lip protruding into a pout.

Pushing Hanson’s legs gently out of the way, Booker sat back against the cushions.  “Don’t bullshit me Tommy, tell me what’s going on.”

Hanson’s eyes flashed angrily.  “You’re n-never here anym-more, it’s so f-fucking boring.”

About to tell Tom to stop being so self-indulgent, Booker suddenly paused, as an idea began to form in his mind.  Seizing the opportunity he said, “You’re bored?  So… let’s go out.”

Tom stared back at him moodily.  “G-give it a rest.”

With a loud grunt, Booker stood up, his patience finally reaching breaking point.  “Fine, but don’t keep bitching to me that you’re bored ’cause I’m fucking sick of it.  There reaches a point where you need to help yourself Tommy and I’m not going to put my life on hold because you won’t walk out the fucking door.”  Grabbing his car keys, he stormed angrily from apartment.

**

Having forgone the burger for a long walk along the oceanfront, Booker began to feel wretched.  It was so rare that he lost his cool with Tom and he wondered why on this particular occasion he had been unable to remain composed.   He finally decided that he was starting to resent not being able to do _normal_ things that couples did, like go to the movies or out to dinner.  He loved Tom with all his heart but being stuck in the confines of the apartment was starting to take its toll.  He felt claustrophobic, he wanted to share his relationship with the world, not keep it hidden away behind closed doors.  With a sigh, he checked his watch and was surprised to see almost two hours had passed.  There was no point in putting it off any longer, he was going to have to face Tom again sometime.  Turning around, he walked slowly back to his car.

On entering the apartment, he found the living room empty.  Shrugging out of his jacket, he threw it on the couch before pushing open the bedroom door.  Tom lay on the bed, curled into a ball, his back facing the door.  Booker’s heart ached at the sight and moving forward, he climbed onto the bed and lay down beside Tom’s still body.  “Hey,” he said softly as his hand reached out and stroked Hanson’s hair.  “I’m such as ass.”

For several minutes, Tom did not respond.  But eventually, he rolled over to reveal his tear stained face.  “Why do you p-put up with m-me, you must hate m-me?” he answered, his voice filled with sadness.

“Of course I don’t hate you,” Booker replied, his voice soothing as he continued to stroke Hanson’s hair.  “But Tommy, you promised me you would start moving forward and so far, not much has changed.  It’s about time you thought about leaving the apartment.”

Tom thought about this for a moment.  It was true.  After he had spoken to Booker about the rape, he _had_ said that he was ready to start moving forward with his recovery.  But the thought of going out into the world again terrified him.  He supposed he had developed some form of agoraphobia brought on by the attack. Not wanting to face up to it, he had refused to discuss the topic with his psychologist.  Thinking about it now, he realized that was a mistake.  If he did not start helping himself, he might lose Dennis forever.  After all, how long could he expect Booker to keep making allowances for him?  Relationships were all about give and take and so far, all he had done was take.

Leaning forward, he kissed Booker tenderly, his tongue forcing open Dennis’ lips as their kiss intensified.  Reaching down, he massaged his fingers vigorously over Booker’s groin, feeling his growing erection straining against his jeans.  “Tomorrow,” he whispered breathlessly against Dennis’ ear as he nipped at the earlobe.  

Reaching down, Dennis fumbled at Tom’s zipper before releasing his cock and beginning to fondle it.  “Promise?” Booker asked, his voice husky with excitement.

“Promise,” Tom murmured against Booker’s throat whilst he sucked and kissed at the tanned skin.  Unbuttoning his lover’s jeans, he grasped Dennis’ erect cock and began to tug gently as his thumb rubbed over the tip.

As their rhythms fell into synch, both men began to moan loudly.  Dennis threw his head back as Tom continued to nip and suck at the taut skin of his throat.  As their hands moved faster, Booker felt his orgasm rising.  With a cry, he ejaculated, his juices running through Tom’s fingers and over his shirt.  Pushing Tom roughly onto his back, Booker moved quickly down the bed and knelt in between Hanson’s bent knees.  Knowing how much he enjoyed it, he took Tom into his mouth.  Immediately Hanson’s hands tangled in Booker’s hair as his hips trust upwards.  With a frantic pace, he fucked Dennis’ mouth violently as he felt his body begin to spasm.  “Fuck… fuck… _FUUUCK!_ ” he cried, as he climaxed deep into Booker’s throat, his fingers ripping at his hair.  

Booker swallowed deeply before sucking gently at Tom’s softening cock.  Feeling Hanson’s body relax beneath him, he crawled up the bed and kissed him lovingly.  “Tomorrow?” he asked gently, hoping that he was not about to spoil the moment.

Tom smiled contentedly.  “Tomorrow,” he reiterated calmly, before closing his eyes and falling asleep.  



	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: Booker swallowed deeply before sucking gently at Tom’s softening cock.  Feeling Hanson’s body relax beneath him, he crawled up the bed and kissed him lovingly.  “Tomorrow?” he asked gently, hoping that he was not about to spoil the moment._
> 
> _Tom smiled contentedly.  “Tomorrow,” he reiterated calmly, before closing his eyes and falling asleep._

**Chapter Seventeen**

As sunlight flooded into the bedroom, Booker yawned sleepily before throwing back the covers and climbing out of bed.  He pulled back the curtains and looked out to see what promised to be a beautiful day.  Leaving Tom asleep, he showered and dressed before returning to the bedroom.  Sitting on the edge of the bed, he reached out to stroke Hanson’s cheek.  Tom’s nose crinkled as he tried to move away but Dennis persisted until Hanson’s eyes finally opened.

“Wake up sleepy head, we’ve got a big day ahead of us,” Booker said, keeping his voice light.

“I’m t-tired,” Hanson muttered sleepily in an attempt to prolong the inevitable.

But Booker was having none of it.  In a jovial voice he said, “C’mon, get up.  The chair’s in the shower and by the time you’ve finished I’ll have bacon and eggs on the table.”

With a grunt, Tom sat up, his face sullen as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.  “Don’t t-treat me l-like a child D-Dennis,” he replied irritably.  “You s-sound like m-my m-mother.”

_Great,_ Booker thought, as he stood up and left the room.  _In the space of one minute, I’ve managed to piss him off AND bring up thoughts of his mother._

He knew Tom’s behavior was due to the nerves he felt about their upcoming day but it still saddened him.  All he wanted was for Tom to realize that the outside world was not always a big scary place and that together they could have an amazing time.  He had thought long and hard about where to take Hanson on their first outing.  He did not want to overwhelm him too much so he had decided that a tour of his office and apartment would be just the thing.  If Tom coped okay maybe they could walk down to the esplanade and have lunch.  

Hanson emerged from the shower in a better mood and they chatted about the previous night’s baseball game that Tom had missed.  Booker was careful not to rush things, so when they had finished eating he took the time to wash up and make their bed.  Glancing at the clock, he saw it was already past ten.  He grabbed a couple of baseball caps that were hanging on a hook and placing one on his own head, he walked back out to the living room.  “Here,” he said as a placed a Yankees cap on Hanson’s head.  “It’s pretty sunny out.”

Tom nodded but remained silent.  Booker could see how tense his body was but he was not going to back down.  “C’mon, let’s get going.”

They left the apartment and walked the short distance to where Booker had parked.  Tom appeared to breathe a sigh of relief once they were safely inside Booker’s car.  Dennis refrained from asking Tom if he was okay, he did not want to make what they were doing seem like a big deal.  He wanted Hanson to see that it was all perfectly normal and that there was nothing to be afraid of.  They drove in silence as Tom stared out of the window at the passing scenery.   Pulling into his allocated parking space, Booker shut off the engine but Tom seemed reluctant to leave the confines of the car.  Dennis remained patient but as the minutes ticked by and Tom showed no sign of moving, Booker reluctantly decided that he needed to intervene.  “Don’t you want to see where I work?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Hanson replied nervously, his hand rubbing furiously at his top lip.  “It’s j-just…” his voice trailed off without revealing his fears.

Dennis leaned over and cupped Tom’s face in his hand.  “I’ll never let anything happen to you,” he said softly as his thumb caressed the faint scar on Tom’s cheek.

“You c-can’t protect m-me forever,” Hanson muttered stubbornly.

Booker sighed.  “No I can’t, but whatever happens I’ll always be here for you.  Doesn’t that count for anything?”

Feeling selfish, Tom gave what he hoped was a convincing smile.  “Of c-course it d-does.  I’m j-just feeling n-nervous; I’ll be f-fine.”

Pulling Tom close, Booker gave him a long, slow, comforting kiss.  Breaking away, he smiled.  “Ready?”

Hanson nodded.  Leaning heavily on his cane, he climbed out of the car and waited for Dennis to walk around to his side.  Taking his hand, they walked together into the building.  Dennis could feel Tom’s fingers squeezing his own in a tight grasp as they walked down the brightly lit corridor.    Booker led the way, stopping at a door with the words **D. BOOKER P.I.** stenciled on the glass.

“C-classy,” Tom said, a hint of laughter in his voice.

“I thought so,” Booker replied sardonically, a smile on his face.  Unlocking the door, he stepped back and allowed Tom to walk through.

Booker’s office was typically masculine, decked out in leather and brass.  His window overlooked a large park that was currently teeming with mothers and their children.  Hanson stared silently out of the window and Dennis wondered what he was thinking.  He hoped it was not about the park that he had been dumped in after the rape.  However, Tom’s face remained unreadable so Booker decided not to ask.

“It’s n-nice,” Tom finally said as he turned away from the scene outside.  “You’ve d-done well.”

Smiling, Booker took Tom’s hand.  “Maybe someday you can come and work with me, you know, as partners.”

“M-maybe,” Tom replied, a hint of sadness in his voice.  Upon seeing Booker’s dejected expression, he continued hurriedly, his voice becoming cheeky.  “Or m-maybe I’d p-prefer to be a k-kept man.”

Booker laughed.  “Dream on lover boy,” he said.

With the tension broken, Tom’s body relaxed.  He took his time exploring Dennis’ office, feeling an overwhelming sense of pride at all that his boyfriend had achieved in such a relatively short space of time.  Moving across the room, he placed his hands on Booker’s hips and leaning in, he kissed him deeply.  “I’m s-so p-proud of you,” he murmured lovingly.

Dennis gently pushed Hanson away.  “Keep that up and I’ll throw you over my desk and have my wicked way with you,” he said with a laugh.

“P-promise?” Hanson asked provocatively, his voice low with desire.

Closing his eyes, Dennis imagined flinging Tom down and taking him there and then on top of his desk.  His cock swelled at the imagery and he quickly pushed the thought away.  Today was about Tom taking his first steps back into the world and not about satisfying his own sexual desires.  With a frustrated sigh, he admonished Tom in a teasing tone.  “Stop it, or I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

Smiling broadly, Tom walked towards the door.  “C’mon, I w-want to s-see where you l-live.”

Booker’s heart swelled, _so far, so good_ he thought to himself as he locked his office door.  

Tom chatted away happily during the short journey to Booker’s apartment.  When Booker unlocked the door, Tom’s eyes opened wide.  “Wow!” he exclaimed in awe.  “W-what a view!”  His fear of the world began to melt away as he enthusiastically surveyed the panorama from Dennis’ seventh floor balcony.  The North Pacific Ocean stretched out as far as the eye could see, its color a magnificent shade of blue as rays of sunlight danced on the white capped waves.  The esplanade below was a busy hive of activity.  Teenagers skated along the wide footpaths as adults sipped lattes in the trendy cafés that lined the tree-lined street.  Tom’s eyes sparkled as he took in the frenzied activity below him.   

Booker moved beside him and draped his arm around Tom’s shoulder.  “Pretty cool huh?” he commented.

“Awesome,” Hanson replied happily, his eyes sparkling in delight.   “Sh-show me the rest of the apartment.”

Dennis was instantly aware that Tom’s stutter had become less pronounced.  Smiling, he led Hanson from room to room, finishing up in the luxuriously decorated bedroom.  As they sat on the king sized bed, Booker wanted nothing more than to rip off all of Tom’s clothing and spend the next hour or so fondling and sucking at his beautiful body.  Instead, he stood up and offered his hand.  “So, how ‘bout we go down and get some lunch?”

He expected Tom to baulk at the idea but was pleasantly surprised when Hanson replied, “Sure.”

As they left the apartment hand in hand, Booker’s mind was happily planning all the exciting activities he and Tom would now be able to enjoy.  Little did he know that in only a few short minutes, Hanson’s world was once again destined to fall apart.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: Dennis was instantly aware that Tom’s stutter had become less pronounced.  Smiling, he led Hanson from room to room, finishing up in the luxuriously decorated bedroom.  As they sat on the king sized bed, Booker wanted nothing more than to rip off all of Tom’s clothing and spend the next hour or so fondling and sucking at his beautiful body.  Instead, he stood up and offered his hand.  “So, how ‘bout we go down and get some lunch?”_
> 
> _He expected Tom to baulk at the idea but was pleasantly surprised when Hanson replied, “Sure.”_
> 
> _As they left the apartment hand in hand, Booker’s mind was happily planning all the exciting activities he and Tom would now be able to enjoy.  Little did he know that in only a few short minutes, Hanson’s world was once again destined to fall apart._

**Chapter Eighteen**

Sitting at a table in the courtyard of La Cantina, Tom tipped back his head and closing his eyes he allowed the sun to beat down onto his upturned face.  He had not realized how much he missed the warmth.  He could not remember when he had last felt more relaxed, apart from when he and Booker found pleasure in each other’s bodies.  Opening his eyes, he perused the crowd as he waited for Booker to return from ordering their meals.  He carefully picked up his glass of water and just as he was about to take a sip, his eyes settled on a man in a red shirt sitting at a table at a café across the road.  The color drained from his face as the tumbler slipped from his fingers and shattered onto the table, spraying broken glass and liquid over the plastic tablecloth and onto his t-shirt.  

Dennis walked out of the restaurant just as the glass slipped from Tom’s fingers.  At first, he thought it was because Hanson was not used to holding onto a glass but he quickly noticed the tension in Tom’s body and hurried over to their table.   Squatting down he immediately saw the terror on Hanson’s face and his heart turned cold.  “Tommy!  What is it?”

Tom continued to stare, his eyes transfixed on the man in the red shirt.  Booker followed his gaze.  The man was about thirty and possibly of Hispanic descent.  It was then that Dennis felt adrenalin course through his body.  “Oh my God Tom, is that—”

“Th-th-th-that’s h-h-h-him!” Hanson stuttered, his face contorting from the effort.  

Booker pulled Tom from the chair and whilst keeping an eye on the man, he ushered Hanson into the restaurant.  Finding a waitress that he knew he briefly explained the situation and asked her if he could use the phone whilst she looked after Tom.  She readily agreed but as she attempted to help Tom to a table, his legs gave way.  Sitting on the floor with his arms wrapped around his drawn up knees, Tom rhythmically rocked back and forth, as his eyes stared sightlessly into space.

“Dennis!” Sandra called out in a panic, suddenly aware that other customer’s were beginning to point and stare.

“Stay with him!” Booker yelled back as he slammed down the phone and headed back outside.  Within minutes, the sound of sirens split through the still, spring air and two marked police cars screeched to a halt outside the restaurant.  Penhall and Ioki jumped from the back of one vehicle and Booker quickly pointed across the street.  Witnessing the commotion, the man in the red shirt stood up nervously.  As the officers crossed the street, his head turned frantically from side to side before he bolted down the esplanade.   Dennis, Doug and Harry immediately ran after him, Penhall yelling out for the man to stop.  Knowing the area well, Booker took off down a narrow side alley in the hope of cutting the man off.  His diversion paid off as he saw a flash of red out of the corner of his eye.  Leaping forward, he tackled the man to the ground with a thud.  The man cried out in pain as Booker began to pummel him.

“You _SON-OF-A-BITCH!_ ” Dennis screamed as he slammed his fist into the man’s jaw.  

Arriving moments later, Harry yelled, “ _BOOKER, NO!_ ” before grabbing Dennis by the waist and pulling him away.  

 “ _HE RAPED HIM! THAT BASTARD RAPED MY TOMMY!_ ” Booker shrieked hysterically, tears pouring down his face as he struggled against Harry’s grip. 

Pushing him backwards, Ioki stared at him angrily.  “You don’t know that!  For God’s sake Booker, we only have Tom’s word for it and let’s face it, given his condition that isn’t exactly a trustworthy ID.”

“His _condition?_ ” Booker spat back angrily, as he watched Penhall read the man his rights whilst placing handcuffs around his wrists.  “What the hell do you know about Tom?  You and Hoffs turned you backs on him months ago, so don’t you lecture me about his fucking _condition!_ ”

A uniformed officer stepped forward and taking custody of the bloodied suspect, he escorted him back to the police car.  Hearing raised voices, Doug turned around to see Booker and Ioki screaming crazily at each other.  “Whoa,” he said as he moved his body between the two men.  “This isn’t helping.”

Harry turned away and followed the officer across the road.  As Booker’s mind began to clear, he suddenly remembered Hanson.  “ _Tommy!_ ” he cried out anxiously before turning and running across the busy street.  Entering the café, he saw that many of the patrons had left.  Sandra sat on the floor, her body cradling a distraught Tom.  Dropping to the ground, he pulled Tom into his arms.  “It’s okay, we’ve got him Tommy, we’ve got him.”

Looking up, Tom’s brown eyes exuded pain.  “I w-w-want t-t-to g-g-go h-h-home,” he sobbed as he clutched at Booker’s shirt.

As Penhall entered the restaurant, Booker spoke, his voice flat.  “I’m taking him back to the apartment.”

Squatting down, Doug’s eyes softened as he laid a hand on Tom’s shoulder.  “Hey Tommy, how’d you feel about coming back to Jump Street for awhile.  We can have a chat about what’s happened.”

Standing up, Booker lifted Tom to his feet.  “We’re going home,” he stated again frostily, his eyes daring Penhall to challenge him on his decision.

Penhall lumbered to his feet and putting a hand on Booker’s arm, he spoke quietly.  “Damn it Dennis, you know the protocol, we need to interview him.”

“Look at him!” Dennis snapped back.  “Does he look like he’s in any state to be interviewed?”

With a resigned sigh, Penhall nodded.  “Okay, take him home, I’ll interview him there.”

“Give me a couple of hours,” Booker commanded before wrapping his arm protectively around Hanson’s shoulder and walking him from the café.

**

Tom lay on the bed, his body curled into the fetal position.  He stared silently ahead, seemingly unaware of Booker or his surroundings.  Dennis had tried speaking to him but he received no response that Tom had heard a word of what he said.  Eventually he settled on physical comfort and sitting on the edge of the bed, he gently stroked Hanson hair.

Hearing Penhall enter the apartment, he leaned over and whispered to Tom that he would be back soon.  Hanson gave no sign of having heard and with a sigh, Dennis stood up and left the room.

Doug looked exhausted.  He walked into the kitchen and opening the refrigerator, he reached in and grabbed a beer.  He held it for a moment before reconsidering and returning it to the shelf.   Closing the refrigerator door, he turned back to Booker.  “How is he?”

Dennis ran a hand through his already tousled hair.  “I don’t know, he’s stopped crying but he’s not talking.  Maybe we should call Doctor Madden.”

Penhall sank onto the couch.  “Maybe,” he replied.  “Let’s give it a couple of hours first.”  Patting the seat next to him, he motioned for Dennis to sit down.  “I’ve got some information but you’ve got to promise me you’ll stay calm.”

“I’ll try,” Dennis said through gritted teeth.  “But it’s not easy.”

Happy with Booker’s response, Penhall continued.  “The man’s name is Emilio Vargas.  He’s thirty-three years old and a painter by trade.”

Doug waited for a reaction but Booker remained silent as he picked at his fingernails.   Clearing his throat, Penhall continued.  “He has a record, mostly petty crime but a couple of interesting facts came up.  One of his accomplices is a man named James Winton.”

“So?” Booker asked, the name meaning nothing to him.

Doug paused for a moment before adding, “We dug a little deeper and it appears that on his last arrest, James Winton’s bail was paid by a Jake Wetherall.”

Booker’s heart skipped a beat.  “Are you serious?” he whispered.

“Dead serious,” Penhall replied.  “Not only that, Vargas has a white van registered in his name.”

“We’ve got em,” Dennis murmured, tears springing to his eyes.  As he turned to question Penhall further, bile suddenly rose in his throat.  Jumping to his feet, he only just managed to make it to the bathroom before he vomited into the toilet bowl.  As he retched noisily, he heard Doug enter and after a few moments, he felt a cool, damp cloth press against the back of his neck.  The tears he had managed to contain just minutes earlier spilled from his eyes.  When his stomach was empty, he closed the lid and flushed the toilet.  Standing up, he turned on the tap and rinsed his mouth and face before turning back to Penhall, who was patiently leaning against the wall. 

“We can make this stick right?” Dennis asked, his voice sounding shaky to his own ears.

“It’s early days Booker,” Penhall replied.  “But yeah, it’s looking good.  The Captain at the Thirteenth Precinct has organised a warrant for the van and Vargas is being interviewed as we speak.  We should know more by morning.”

As they exited the bathroom, they saw Tom standing in the living room, his face pale but composed.  “T-tell me wh-what’s g-going on,” he whispered.

Stepping forward, Penhall led Hanson over to the couch.  Once he was seated, he sat down beside him and taking a deep breath, he replied. “I’ll tell you everything Tommy but I’m going to need to ask you some questions too, is that okay?”

Searching Booker’s face for reassurance Tom nodded.  “Wh-whatever you n-need,” he said.  “L-let’s n-nail these b-bastards.”  



	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: As they exited the bathroom, they saw Tom standing in the living room, his face pale but composed.  “T-tell me wh-what’s g-going on,” he whispered._
> 
> _Stepping forward, Penhall led Hanson over to the couch.  Once he was seated, he sat down beside him and taking a deep breath, he replied, “I’ll tell you everything Tommy but I’m going to need to ask you some questions too, is that okay?”_
> 
> _Searching Booker’s face for reassurance Tom nodded.  “Wh-whatever you n-need,” he said, “L-let’s n-nail these b-bastards.”_

**Chapter Nineteen**

With so much incriminating evidence, the case moved forward at a lightening pace.  After being forensically tested, Vargas’ van revealed samples of Tom’s blood, his fingerprints and his hair.  James Winton’s fingerprints, along with another man’s, Paul Donahue, were also discovered.  After viewing the mug shots, Booker recognized James as the man sitting with Jake Wetherall at the Chinese restaurant the night of Tom’s attack.  It was during a line-up that Tom had been able to identify both Vargas and Winton as two of his attackers.  With the evidence stacking up against him and in an attempt to negotiate a lighter sentence, Vargas had no qualms in giving up Donahue as the third attacker.  It had been during one of his extensive interrogations that Vargas had, in an added attempt to co-operate, revealed the whole story.

Jake Wetherall was a bible thumping, born-again Christian.  The irony was that he had homosexual tendencies.  He believed that by using another male as his receptacle, he could receive the pleasure in his mind of being with another man, without actually sinning against God.  It turned out that James was his cousin and one night he had disclosed his plan, only to discover that Winton was more than happy to step in as the “chosen vessel” along with two of his friends.  Wetherall had scouted the college campus for gay men he fancied and had then given the information to Winton.  They planned the attacks down to the minute so that Jake could masturbate at the precise moment the victim was being raped.

All four men were eventually arrested and each accepted a plea bargain so as not to face a jury trial.  Hanson was relieved to not have to testify and had welcomed the deal of fifteen years for Vargas, Winton and Donahue and ten years for Wetherall.  His life had once again been turned upside down but he had managed to stay relatively strong until after the sentencing, when he found himself slowly regressing.  He refused to attend his appointments with Doctor Madden and venturing outside became a near impossible task.  Booker tried desperately to assuage his fears but Tom remained stubbornly resolute.  As he sank back into depression, he withdrew further from Booker until they barely touched.  

Dennis remained loyal, although his body ached for Hanson’s fingers to make contact.  He still spent several nights a week on the couch at Tom and Doug’s apartment but he found himself more often than not, alone in his own bed where his fingers replaced Hanson’s in bringing himself to orgasm.  It was devastating to think that it had been the conclusion of the case that had eventually driven a wedge between them.  But no matter what, Dennis wanted Tom in his life and therefore he accepted the hand of friendship in lieu of love.  He did not go searching for another partner, his heart still belonged to Tom and he wondered if he would ever be able to find a love so powerful again.

Arriving at Tom and Doug’s one Friday night, he met Penhall in the corridor.  “Heading out?” he asked somewhat gloomily, as the thought of having to spend a night alone in the apartment with only Tom bore heavy on his heart.  How he had yearned in the beginning of their relationship to spend time alone with Hanson.  However, it now seemed like a cruel joke.   He now had plenty of time to spend with Tom and yet he could not even reach over and give him a hug.  

“Work,” Penhall replied but his voice seemed somewhat lighthearted for someone who was about to spend his Friday night at Jump Street.

“Oh,” Dennis replied disinterestedly, his thoughts remaining on Hanson.

“Yeah, um, I probably won’t be home until Sunday, so if you could, you know, make sure Tom’s looked after, that would be great,” Doug replied, a small smirk crossing his lips.

“Is everything okay?” Booker asked suspiciously, his Spidey senses tingling.

This time Penhall could not keep the smile off his face.  “Everything’s great, see you in a few days,” he replied and without further explanation he walked off, leaving Dennis alone in the hallway.

“Weird,” Booker muttered to himself as he unlocked the apartment door and entered.  Finding the living room empty, he cast his eye at Tom’s bedroom and saw a flickering light coming from underneath the door.  “Tommy?” he called out despondently.  “It’s me.”

“I’m in th-the b-bedroom,” Hanson answered, his voice slightly raised.

“Just what I need,” Booker murmured, not really wanting to see Tom in the place that held so many precious, intimate memories.  Throwing down his jacket, he entered Hanson’s room and stopped dead.

The bedroom was alight with candles,   their gentle flames casting soft shadows across the walls.  Hanson lay under the covers, his eyes liquid brown pools of desire.  “I’ve m-missed you,” he whispered somewhat timidly as Booker stared back at him open-mouthed.

“Tommy,” Booker uttered softly, barely daring to breathe.  “What’s going on?”

A smile crossed Hanson’s lips, a smile that was a reflection of the Tom of old.  “P-Penhall sat m-me down and st-straightened a f-few things out f-for me.”

“ _Penhall_ did?” Booker repeated unbelievingly, as his heart hammered in his chest.

“Yeah,” Tom replied softly.  “He p-pretty much explained to m-me what I w-was throwing away and s-suggested I th-think about it  b-before losing what m-may be the best th-thing I ever had.”  Hanson’s expression was unsure as he threw back the covers and whispered, “So, are you g-going to join m-me?”

“ _Fuuuck_ yeah,” Booker groaned as he took in the sight of Tom’s naked body.  Kicking off his boots, he was undressed within moments. Climbing into bed, he pulled Tom into his arms as he placed butterfly kisses over Hanson’s face and neck.  “I love you,” he moaned as his hand moved down Tom’s body.

“Wait,” Hanson panted, as his body immediately reacted to Booker’s touch.  

 “ _What?_ ” Booker moaned, his lips pressed against Tom’s throat.

Hanson pulled back so he could look deeply into Booker’s eyes.  “I w-want you to m-make love to me,” he whispered shyly.

Dennis stared back.  “Tom,” he spluttered incredulously.  “You don’t have to—”

“I _w-want_ to,” Tom replied, his eyes dancing in the candle light.  “I want to f-feel you inside me, knowing th-that you love me.”  Casting his eyes downwards he murmured, “You d-do love me d-don’t you Dennis?”

“Oh Tommy!” Booker moaned as he reached out to cup Hanson’s face with both hands, kissing him chastely.  “You’re my _everything_.”

Grinning nervously, Hanson leaned over and opened his dresser drawer.  Feeling around, he pulled out a box of condoms and a tube of lubrication.  Booker’s cock was almost fully erect at the thought of finally taking Tom completely.  Hanson’s fingers began stroking him to full arousal and falling back against the pillow, he felt Tom’s lips against his own and they kissed passionately.  His cock now hard, he gently disengaged Tom’s fingers and sitting up he tore open a condom packet and expertly rolled it over his erection.  Hanson’s eyes were wide with anxiety and leaning forward Booker stroked his hair as he murmured lovingly, “I won’t hurt you, I could never hurt you.  Lay back okay?”

Tom did as he was instructed.  Booker grabbed a pillow and placed it under Tom’s hips, tilting him upwards.  Straddling Hanson’s body, he leaned in for another kiss.  Carefully bending Tom’s knees, he opened the lube and spread it over the fingers of his right hand and over his aching erection.  Again leaning forward, his left hand gently stroked Hanson’s cock as he whispered, “I’m going to use my finger first okay?”

Tom nodded as eyes grew wider with fear.  Booker kissed him deeply as he reached down and carefully inserted a finger.  He felt Hanson’s body tense as he pushed gently through the ring of muscle.  “Is that okay?” he murmured softly.

Tom’s eyes were screwed shut.  “It h-hurts,” he gasped.

Booker’s hand stilled.  “Do you want me to stop?” he asked, his voice full of concern.

“No,” Tom panted.  “Keep going.”

Dennis slowly moved his finger out and back in and as the ring of muscle relaxed, he carefully inserted a second finger.  Tom still looked uncomfortable, but his face had relaxed slightly.  Gently scissoring his fingers, he slowly widened Tom’s opening.  Satisfied, he removed his fingers and gently guided the tip of his cock so it rested against Tom.  “Ready?” he whispered, his eyes locking with Hanson’s.

Tom nodded and closing his eyes, he involuntarily held his breath.  Booker pushed gently into Tom’s anus and as his cock pushed past the resistant ring of muscle, he let out a whimper of pleasure.  He rocked his hips slowly back and forth as Tom’s eyes remained shut, his face pulled into a slight grimace.  Shifting his position somewhat, he placed a hand under Tom’s hips and lifted him slightly as he continued to carefully move back and forth.  As he increased his thrust, Tom’s eyes suddenly flew open.

“FUCK!” Hanson yelled, his eyes widening in surprise.  

Dennis smiled, he had found Tom’s pleasure spot.  He increased his thrusts as Tom continued his vocal appreciation.  “Feels… so… fucking… good… Fuck me… Dennis… _FUCK_ _MEEE!_ ”

Booker’s rhythm intensified and he slammed his cock in and out of Hanson’s body.  Tom’s own cock was weeping heavily and Dennis knew he was close.  Supporting his body on one arm, he took hold of Tom’s cock and with two tugs, he brought him to climax.  Tom screamed with pleasure, as his semen covered his stomach.  “ _YESSS!_ ”

Within seconds, Booker’s own orgasm hit and he cried out as his seed spilled forth.  He continued thrusting until his cock was soft and withdrawing, he pulled off the condom and threw it onto the floor.  Crawling up the bed, he flopped down next to Tom who was panting heavily.  Turning his head, Tom kissed him lovingly.  When they broke apart, Tom’s face was tranquil.  “Thanks,” he murmured as he stroked Dennis’ face.

“For what?” Dennis muttered sleepily.

“For healing me,” Tom replied devotedly.  “I’m no longer a victim Dennis, now I’m a survivor.”

  
_Finis  
_


End file.
